Depressing Loss
I think this topic mirrors Trevor's post about a "Sickenning Bad Beat".
At Bristol last night I was out first. This was a first for me. I usually last at least to the middle of the pack in any MTT (if not better). In what adds up to two hands, I lost it all and was out. Yes I think I misplayed my last hand, but this isn't about bad beats or anything else. Afterwards as I drove home (it was 7:38!!!) I felt like absolute crap. I couldn't shake this depressed feeling I was having. I couldn't explain it. This was just a poker game, no big deal. I lost only $20. But I was still depressed.
Now since I don't have a degree in physcology, my own diagnosis may be off, but here we go. I think I was depressed at two things.
A) I was looking forward to playing cards for a least a few hours. I was going to get coffee during the break and I really thought I would be there until at least 10:00. I was sad that I was going home so early. I wanted to play.
I played two hands horribly. I tired a few fancy plays and got burned. It happens but I was upset that a different bet pre-flop in both cases would have probably won me small pots instead of losing big ones.
So any thoughts?
At Bristol last night I was out first. This was a first for me. I usually last at least to the middle of the pack in any MTT (if not better). In what adds up to two hands, I lost it all and was out. Yes I think I misplayed my last hand, but this isn't about bad beats or anything else. Afterwards as I drove home (it was 7:38!!!) I felt like absolute crap. I couldn't shake this depressed feeling I was having. I couldn't explain it. This was just a poker game, no big deal. I lost only $20. But I was still depressed.
Now since I don't have a degree in physcology, my own diagnosis may be off, but here we go. I think I was depressed at two things.
A) I was looking forward to playing cards for a least a few hours. I was going to get coffee during the break and I really thought I would be there until at least 10:00. I was sad that I was going home so early. I wanted to play.
I played two hands horribly. I tired a few fancy plays and got burned. It happens but I was upset that a different bet pre-flop in both cases would have probably won me small pots instead of losing big ones.So any thoughts?
Comments
I would always rather be the first one out than bust on or close to the bubble. This way I get on with life.
IMO there is nothing worse then playing poker for hours with nothing to show for it.
Not sure if this is true for you, but definately was for me. I'm not sure if you saw the seal-clubbing that was my tournament last night, but I didn't feel as bad. I really wanted to win, and I think I brought my best game, but the luck wasn't there. I think a few other beatings I've taken recently are helping to make it hurt less.
Starting to become numb
And the most helpful comment was from Moose: Unfortunately, it still hurts sometimes, but the wife part really helps. I just left early last night (no sidegames) and went home and bitched to the wife. Her response to the suckouts - "This is becoming a theme isn't it". I couldn't help but laugh it off then - wive's are great that way!
The worst part is that I knew I was beat before the cards got turned over. I made the all in move agaisnt my better judgement. I did not bring my "A" game, I don't even think I brought a game.
I know I can always come to terms with those situations where something beyond my control brings poor results. However, I also struggle a lot when I have to look back and admit that I played poorly, or I made a bad move. With a degree in Psychology, I assume and hope that you aren't the type to lie to yourself to feel better. I'm not a psychologist, but I am a child and youth worker, working an after school program for youth in conflict with the law. We base our entire treatment philosophy on cognitive restructuring, or changing the way you think, in order to change the way you behave.
I'm sure you know all this, but just use these opportuities to review, and think about where you went wrong, and how you would make different decisions in the future.
I remember when Greg Raymer busted in wsop 2005, and he was so zen like about the beat he took. Afterwards he said something along the lines of pokers all about good decisions, not necessarily good results. That sort of put things in perspective for me.
Cheers
That's awfully productive.
Next time maybe try them against different players at your table. Maybe you just got cute with the wrong guy. (not man flirting)
Its the nature of MTT. Given the strength of Bristol events, someone has to be first out, and chances are its a very good player.
Looking at the cash game that started at G2's, there were a couple of guys (maybe more than a couple) who were already out, that most would have thought would play deep into the tourney. Sometimes that's just the way it goes.
Its sucks when its you, but, one deep breath later, its over, move on.
D
Truer words were never spoken...haha.
Seriously though, I said to Johnny H the other day after one of his classic yet beautiful reactions to a poorly played hand "I always find the toughest ones to take are the ones that I'm mad at myself about". Â I think at the time Andrew you handled yourself like a gentleman and really you have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself. Â When you get beat and are upset about it, all you can do is leave the table with the dignity that you joined with, I believe you did that. Â I can understand feeling depressed after a misplayed hand for a short period of time. Â I'd have to ask the question what is it about loosing that makes you the most depressed? Â Was it going out first? Â Was it just playing poorly? Â Was it the fact that you got your hopes up to play for x amount of hours? Â Sometimes I feel as though it is the frame of mind you are in at the time of the beat that affects you most as well, the days events can really affect how strongly you interpret a negative feeling. Â Perhaps on another day it may be eaiser to see it for what it was, a game. Â
I would say that, when I go into a tournament like this part of my plan is to play my best and accept the results as they are. Â Learn from the mistakes. Â I cannot go into a tournament just hoping to last, you need to play and thus will sometimes get beat. Â I respect all of the players at the table and know at any timeI can be eliminated and outplayed. Â I'm not naive enough to think that I am invincible and that I will not make mistakes. Â
This is true, I was out early at Greg's house and I think a few were surprised. Â Sometimes the cards just don't go your way, when that happens all you can do is walk away and regroup.
stp
I never really feel awful about busting out in a tournament, except when I take a bad beat at a final table. I'm mainly a cash game player and look at tournaments as an extravagance, a long-shot bet where I have a slight edge over the field.
I think it was me being mad at me. I am completely over it now and I will learn from my mistake. As Wolfhound said, don't try the fancy plays at a table with the players that were there. Oops.
Oh well, I have moved on and am anxiously awaiting the next game.
Once you get it you wont feel depressed. Being mad at yourself however in the name of growth is different. Keep in mind:
"Mistakes are the portals of discovery"
-James Joyce
You gotta be tough to be at the top of this game. If you cant roll with the punche take up checkers.
Dude, you gotta get off the temple ball - stay out of De Dampkring man.... soon you'll be so introspective, you'll be euthanizing depressed scandinavians and dating a girl named Gertrude with hairy armpits...
I think that is a bit much. And the comparison with Devin is vastly different.
Anyways the depressed state only lasted a little while and the bonus was that I got to watch Lost that night. Oooooh that Sawyer!
This sums it up best for me, this is when it really stings, I play because I love the challenge and the game and I want to improve so when I make a mistake that puts me out it stings way more then a suck out when you've made the right move. Remember all you can do as a poker player is make as few mistakes as possible and give your opponents opportunities to make mistakes, if they make a call that is incorrect and suck out on you you have to remember that you did the right thing, you gave them a chance to make a mistake, they made it and got lucky it's going to happen....but when it's you that makes the mistake it's a hard pill to swallow!
A perfect example for me was the recent CPF tourney, I thought I was playing pretty good and since I really didn't get very many hands to play I was happy to see myself sitting 7/9 when the final table formed but being under the average tack I knew I needed to make a move. I got AQo in early position and raised, I think that was my first mistake, perhaps I should have just pushed with it being short stacked Chugs then came over the top with a healthy raise....and then I made a dumb stupid mistake, I pushed.....sure I'd seen Chugs and others making lots of moves on pots with, I suspect, mediocre hands but coming over the top should have told me he had a hand...and sure enough he turned AA and I was out in 8th. I don't really know what happened but I didn't take the time to really think about the sequence of the hand, I should have gotten away from it and picked another spot to push or pushed pre-flop (sure Chugs still would have busted me but I would have been happier with my play). It bothered me going to bed and waking up......and I'm not really sure how to deal with this type of thing?
booze and whores?
Bustin out is busting out. You obviously do not get the bigger picture of poker. If your depressed over a 20 dollar tourney, cuz you played likes shit... then you just suck. Denial man... It keeps the losers coming back.
You mentioned how you had all these plans for spending the evening at the casino... Well it didnt work out and you got depressed. That has nothing to do with how you played, but how your expectations got crushed.
I was using Devin as example because he doesnt cry and whine to the CPF when he screws up ( i thought the 22 was a mistake). He is a proven winner, cant say the same for you.
BBC-Z MOVE OVER.
Ever since I joined NWP I cant help it guys.. If your gonna post the worst hands ever im gonna say it, and if you cry like a baby over playing bad, then you should become a poker reporter.
PS dinobot, you give good advice.
For those who do take the game seriously, there are emotional issues with both winning and losing, playing good and bad. The OP (and my other thread) are about how to handle these emotions. Us "newbies" are trying to learn how to be better not just by our play, but by controlling these emotions. Belittling the poster because he had these feelings is ridiculous. He acknowledges he played badly, and his self-knowledge is why these feelings make no sense (thus his question).Â
To use Devin as an example again, was he naturally gifted with this ability to shake it off, or did he learn it? If it's simply time-in, great, just keep playing/waiting. However, if there is any "skill" that can be learned to get to that gifted state quicker, wouldn't it be foolish not to seek it by asking?Â
To use your other analogy about "babies", I'll speak for myself only. I am a "poker baby", and I'm trying to "grow up". This forum is effectively a "surrogate parent" and we're asking for help from the adults - there are some here, and they've been very helpful!
Quite frankly, you're an ass. And you're comments don't even relate to my original post. I wasn't suicidal or in tears, I was upset. Much like when you're looking forward to a night of fun and it gets cancelled. To go as far as saying I suck and I am a fish shows how immature you are. Again how can you compare me to Devin and his WSOP experience to me in a freakin' $20 Home game?
And for the record I am pretty sure I would be happy with $70 000 after a tournament too, no matter how I busted out.
BBC-Z you're not. At least with him he has a basis for opinions.
A: Flintbones, you're a man! You don't have feelings... you have umm... SENSATIONS!!
B: beanie42... be careful calling yourself a poker BABY in a thread with Flintbones...
cuz... you know
He eats babies.
Mark
P.S. Seriously guys, you gotta warn me about these flame wars, I had to send the asbestos suit for drycleaning.
LOL - "Blessed are the peacemakers" - you must still be at work
ever heard of being a dickhead?
not all of us are bankrolled by others and can afford losing the big stakes that you apparently don't mind losing.
take your higher then mighty attitude elsewhere.
Hear hear... Kid gosh, u have a lot to learn and probably some serious growing up to do....
The tough love was sarcasm BTW Beanie. You seem like the only rational one here.
Flint bones obv is a sucker at life and poker if he is callin me immature and he doesnt even know me... Way to go man...
Oookkkkkkk... I was using Devins example because we all know it, and its an example of the big time.
not best example but it works.
So next time Ill use something straight out of sucksville, a town you guys must be familiar with.
I may as well now... You guys all suck and take it way to seriously. EGOEGOEGO . Bunch of fish. I should be nice to you guiys though so the games stay juicy.
Im sure you guys are all such donkeys its unreal.
And big E well not even worth responding too.. I think a freerol is starting soon.
And I dont wanna be BBC-Z i just said move over, but nice try for a diss or something.. Go back to the zoo donkeys.
I actually think it's a great example. I think what you're missing is that we're not there yet, we're trying to get there, and want to learn from those ahead of us.
As for the rest of your comments (and to my buddies FlintBones/BigE), I'll actually leave the flame-war alone. My response to you was actually to get the thread back on topic, not to attack you (sorry if it came across incorrectly), and since then this thread has turned into a school-yard (on all sides). I'll go find a different thread to study in...
ScottyZ