The Simpsons

im a clownim a clown
in Off Topic Lounge
I thought it would be fun to have everyone name some of your favorite Simpsons lines. I will start it off with a crusty the clown one.

" I thought they were due" on why he bet on the Washington Generals to beat the Harlem Globetrotters.
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Comments

  • literationliteration
    "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."
  • JeremyJeremy
    "They taste like burning"
  • ScottyZScottyZ
    What a great topic! :)

    Some of my favorites are here:

    http://www.pokerforum.ca/forum/index.php?topic=1454.0

    ScottyZ
  • im a clownim a clown
    Well then I am bringing it back from the dead.
  • im a clownim a clown
    "My cats breath smells like cat food" Ralph Wiggam
  • im a clownim a clown
    "Are vegetarians stupid?" a kid says to Troy Mc Clure
    "No, no, just ignorant"
  • PolkzPolkz
    #1 Marge - Have you been drinking?
    Homer - NO.........Well 10 beers


    #2 Homer - I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.
  • whiterabbitwhiterabbit
    whining: "Dooooh...... alley balls"
  • PrerollerPreroller
    I am so Smart! S-M-R-T! (burns diploma)
  • JohnnieHJohnnieH
    Actually, it was Ned Flanders diploma, from Oral Roberts University.

    Here's my all time favorites:

    Homer's brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar! Gasp! But what else is open at night?
    Homer Outloud: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
    Homer's brain: Heh Heh Heh. I would'a never thought of that.

    FBI officer: HELLO MR. THOMPSON!!!!!
    Homer whispers to officer sitting next to him: ....I think he's talking to youuuu.....

    Homer to his brain: All right, brain. You don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just do this and I can get back to killing you with beer.
    Homer's brain: It's a deal!!!

    Also, my signature quote below.

    JohnnieH
  • K RK R
    Homer : Marge! The boy needs to learn how to weasel his way out of situations like this. It's what serperates us from the animals....except the weasel.

    My all time favourite Simpsons line!
  • WaterLooserWaterLooser
    Duffman: Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem.

    Funnies moment ever: Sherry Bobbins sucked into the jet intake of the plane as she is flying off. I still laugh so hard even though I know it is coming.
  • ScoobyDScoobyD
    "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer
    "Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug, was the drugs." - Homer
    "I just want to set the record straight. I thought the cop was a prostitute." - Homer
    "I bent my Wookie" - Ralph
  • DJPDJP
    The whole [Simpsons in Japan] episode is hilarious. Bart and Homer are only in jail about 2-3 hours and come out speaking fluent Japanese, and experts at origami. lol It's full of one liners too. Gotta be in my top 3 now. hehe
  • moosemoose
    Someone smells stinky. sniff sniff. Ohhh, it's me. - Barney
  • Big EBig E
    Grandpa Simpson, my fav!!!

    Grandpa: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
    P.S. I am not a crackpot.

    Marge: Grandpa, are you sitting on the apple pie?
    Grandpa: I sure hope so...


    and JohnnyH you forgot one:

    Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
    Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
    Homer: Explain how!
    Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
    Homer: Woo-hoo!

    anyone remember the one where Homer plays blackjack (to keep this post semi related?)

    Dealer: 19.
    Homer: Hit me.
    Dealer: 20.
    Homer: Hit me.
    Dealer: 21.
    Homer: Hit me.
    Dealer: 22.
    Homer: D'oh!
  • Big EBig E
    almost forgot my fav from Grandpa!!!!

    What, seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeeeeex.
    :D
  • FrogKingFrogKing
    This one still makes me laugh.

    Homer and Bart trying to get letter he send to mr burns back.

    Homer:My name is Mr. Burn.(with fake voice)

    Cashier: And what is you first name.

    Homer: I dont know. (keeps fake voice)

    Also funny.

    Mojo typing: Pray for Mojo.
  • JohnnieHJohnnieH
    Great quotes, guys!!!
    "Twenty dollars? I wanted peanut!!" how could I forgotten that one!!!! It used to be my quote!!!

    Ok here's a few more:

    Mr. Burns: So, Smithers, what are you doing this weekend. Something gay, I expect?
    Smithers: What?!!
    Mr. Burns: You know, light and fancy free! Mothers, lock up your daughters! Smithers is on the town!
    Smithers: Oh! Of course.

    Ooh, the Germans are mad at me. I'm so scared! Oooh, the Germans!

    Mr. Burns: Nonsense! Dogs are idiots! Think about it, Smithers. If I came into your house and started sniffing at your crotch and slobbering all over you, what would you say?
    Smithers: If YOU did it, sir?



    I love Mr. Burns!!! (But not nearly as much as Smithers!!!)

    JohnnieH
  • ScoobyDScoobyD
    Save me Jebus! - Homer
  • WaterLooserWaterLooser
    From the Las Vegas Episode:

    Homer: Ahhh! A lion! (while looking at the white tiger)

    Ned: So what do the aliens look like?
    Homer: I don't know. I only saw them from behind as they were gang probing you.
  • mischiefmanmischiefman
    When bart asks homer how he does the kicking in the back thing ..

    Homer : see the trick son is to cry like a girl and when he turns away in disgust .... time to kick some back.

    Ralph : Hello supernintendo chalmers!

    the brazil episode.
    Homer: can i have some brazil nuts
    brazilian: down here we just call them nuts

    and one of my favourites although i have so many that i cant really say anyONE is:
    when homer tries to buy a canyonero and the alarm goes off
    salesman: homer , those lights and sirens are to tell me in case i go deaf dumb and blind to NOT approve u for this car
    Homer: well it could be a good blinking red light
    salesman: homer , have u ever known a blinking red light to be good ?
  • karinakarina
    My bad, FrogKing, my bad.

    To stay with the monkey...

    "I can't wait to eat that monkey..."
  • WaterLooserWaterLooser
    (Heard through the backroom door by Homer)
    Apu: Ohhh, squishee lady! You have definitely not had eight babies!
  • literationliteration
    Apu: Oooo, a headbag. These are chock full of...heady goodness.
  • gtapokergtapoker
    "The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!" :D
  • ScottyZScottyZ
    gtapoker wrote:
    "The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws!" :D

    I'm guessing that Gamblor is fond of this quote too. :)

    ScottyZ
  • witchdoctorwitchdoctor
    Best line has to be....Principal Skinner tied up in a ther ball sack while the school has been snowed in and says to the school hamster

    "Quick Nibbles....chew through my ball sack"

    Same episode...

    Groudskeeper Willy to Skinner "You won't have your willy to slap around anymore"

    Classics!!!!
  • karinakarina
    Willy: Have ye got any grease?

    Lunch Lady Doris: Yes, yes I do.

    Willy [ripping shirt]: Then grease me up woman!!!
  • JohnnieHJohnnieH
    Lunch Lady Doris: More testicles means more iron!!

    Ralph Wiggum: Me fail English? That's umpossible!!

    Marge: I been so bored here, I've starting drinking a glass of wine a day. I know that doctors say you should drink a glass and a half, but I just can't drink that much!!

    JohnnieH
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