How soon is too soon?

I have a beautiful four month old daughter. She's healthy and lovely, and agreeable 95% of the time.

I love my wife dearly and want to be a wonderful and supportive partner to her in every way that I can (seriously)

My dilemma is that Vegas is basically giving it away. I could do flight and three nights for $180 from Bellingham Washington next Monday to Thursday.

Question: Is it reasonable to request this time away from the family?

Sub Question: If it is reasonable, how would you ask?
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Comments

  • not reasonable.

    what is more important to you?
  • You could go if you had a family member or two came to your place to help out while you where gone. Maybe one of your parents, if possible.
    OR
    I would try to get a group together of wives and husbands to go. That way everyone can take turns watching the kids while the others go out.

    That being said, you probably should wait until the little one is sleeping through the night to leave your family. Las Vegas isn't going anywhere.

    JohnnieH

    ps...Congrats on the baby! Boy or girl?
  • Do NOT do this.

    Reasonable or not, you will regret doing this. No matter what your partner may say, there will be some residual resentment at your going off to have fun, while she stays home with your child. You may not pay for it today but, these things get filed away, and you will hear about it at some point in the future.

    Not worth the potential hassle, imo.
  • I'd vote for stay home and help out. You have no idea how much you will miss that little one. It gets such a strong hold of you and you don't even know it until you are away.

    Another quick story ....
    My 1 1/2 yr old has become enamored with the change in my pocket. Great Grandma always gives her two loonies every time she sees her and she LOVES it. MONEY! is one of the words she can say very clearly. She knows it goes in her piggy bank as soon as she gets home.

    So last night while rough-housing on the floor, the kids here a jingle in my pocket. The littlest yells "MONEY!" and starts digging for change. Alas only keys are in there. My 3.5 yr old asks, "Where is all your money daddy?" I reply "Daddy's broke, I don't have any money for you today" His reply "Did you give it all to poker Daddy?"

    OUCH!
  • Oh for Gods Sake, MAN UP AND GO!!

    They'll be fine without you. Go have some fun and lighten up. When you get back home, they'll be happy for your return.

    Don't be afraid of living your life in fear of female retribution. Yes, she will get even...sometime in the near future no doubt. And it will be 10 fold payback.

    I'd go...but wife hid my money.
  • STR82ACE wrote: »
    I'd go...but wife hid my money.

    So, does this mean you're just dealing tonight? :)
  • I've found that even 1 day off for the mother makes a HUGE difference in her moral or even offering to stay awake through the night for the feedings and give your wife 8 straight hours of sleep helps.

    Ultimately it's about negotiation. If Dino can go to Vegas, he should watch the baby (provided you have enough milk) while his wife gets to go to the cottage or somewhere.
  • At 4 months, I cannot see Mommy wanting to "get away" more than a few rooms from Baby. Give her the weekend off, Dino. Do EVERYTHING that needs doing, except breastfeeding, of course. Then, in a couple more months, you hit her up for the weekend away. Throw in another weekend of slave labour when you get back, and you are a hero.

    Hell, you might even get laid . . .
  • Guess you aren't all degenerates on this forum.

    It's too soon for me even, but man those are some good deals.
  • Milo wrote: »
    Hell, you might even get laid . . .

    Isn't that what got him into this predicament in the first place?

    Mark
  • [QUOTE=JohnnieH;199496
    ps...Congrats on the baby! Boy or girl?[/QUOTE]

    Little lady, she's amazing.

    Like I said, I do as much as I can around here, make sure to take baby so Mom can hit Yoga classes etc. I don't think there's any question about that in my mind or hers

    Despite all that, I know it's too soon for me, but wanted to see what others would do given the same circumstances.

    Thanks for the feedback, and for being so direct.
  • A girl? Congratulations. YOU'RE FUCKED.

    Just get used to it now. You are screwed. Mine's 13.
  • I read the OP with the full intentions of calling you a pussy for not going.

    ..until I looked at the responses. Anyone happy in their marriage gave an insta-no. And those not/divorced said do it.

    Maybe not a credible sample size but I wouldn't be inclined to chance it.
  • lol ---> your edited response Kristy.
  • I highly recommend the Remington 870. Good quality firearm, easily disassemblied for cleaning and storage (and quite possible to bury in several small holes if necessary), accurate to 50yds with a nice improved choke which is standard in them.

    Makes a hell of a mess though at close range, so be prepared to spend time on cleanup afterwards.
  • +1 on the 870, although Mossberg makes a quality product. You're all forgetting the obvious, however. Dino lives in BC. Climbing accidents happen all the time . . .



    word to the wise.
  • Kristy_Sea wrote: »
    I read the OP with the full intentions of calling you a pussy for not going.

    ..until I looked at the responses. Anyone happy in their marriage gave an insta-no. And those not/divorced said do it.

    Maybe not a credible sample size but I wouldn't be inclined to chance it.

    Didn't you quit this forum?

    As for the gun, it's a good plan, I'll keep you posted.
  • dinobot wrote: »
    Didn't you quit this forum?

    As for the gun, it's a good plan, I'll keep you posted.

    Kristy is back for the Royal Cup (see home game threads) but......she came out of the RC posts just for you.....and suggested you acquire fire arms.....love this board sometimes

    Good call to stay home. it's an awesome time to be with the kid as much as possible. They learn so much and you would regret missing some of that.
    .........though there are some great child care facilities in vegas......do I smell a family trip idea cooking???
  • SuitedPair wrote: »
    Kristy is back for the Royal Cup (see home game threads) but......she came out of the RC posts just for you.....and suggested you acquire fire arms.....love this board sometimes

    Good call to stay home. it's an awesome time to be with the kid as much as possible. They learn so much and you would regret missing some of that.
    .........though there are some great child care facilities in vegas......do I smell a family trip idea cooking???

    Looks like I'm going to get a chance just prior to Christmas. Just before the holiday's and before I begin my own 5 months of parental leave.
  • I'd say go, but I fall into the group that Kristy said would say Man up and go. As much as vegas isn't going anywhere I just spent 8 days there and my alcohol abuse took a while to recover from.
  • I change my decision. Go - and for that price, take the fam! Kids are so portable at that age. You can buy whatever you need down there (basically diapers). Maybe you won't get to put in that 36 consecutive hr session at the poker table you were planning, but take a trip and take the wife. Try to get a spa package comp'd or something.
  • I change my decision. Go - and for that price, take the fam! Kids are so portable at that age. You can buy whatever you need down there (basically diapers). Maybe you won't get to put in that 36 consecutive hr session at the poker table you were planning, but take a trip and take the wife. Try to get a spa package comp'd or something.

    This is what you do, minus the baby, after the first year. Go for a weekend, ship the wife off to the spa for some pampering, and sit your fat ass down for one long poker orgy. She'll love the spa, you'll love the poker, grandparents will love spoiling the little one. It's a win-win-win, regardless of your results at the table.

    Now, if only I had thought of this when MY kid was born . . .
  • Bottom line is, if you're coming here to find out if it's too early.....it's likely too early.
  • dinobot wrote: »
    Didn't you quit this forum?
    SuitedPair wrote: »
    Kristy is back for the Royal Cup (see home game threads)
    I change my decision. Go - and for that price, take the fam! Kids are so portable at that age. You can buy whatever you need down there (basically diapers). Maybe you won't get to put in that 36 consecutive hr session at the poker table you were planning, but take a trip and take the wife. Try to get a spa package comp'd or something.

    I bolded the important part of a family vacation. Make sure that Mom isn't just being Mom in a different locale and that you actually plan both fun events for all of you and something relaxing and special just for her.

    This plan also only works if your child is not moving around yet..as I wouldn't allow a child on the floor of the hotel to move around (even on a blanket) and you're going to have a miserable little girl if you try to restrain her for three days.
  • Who are you, and what have you done with Kristy?

    This is not the sort of pablum we are used to from you . . . have they changed your meds?

    Post more, imo . . . ;)
  • I'm sorry you're right..that was wayyyy out of character.

    Umm, here's the REAL Kristy-Sea plan: You pin a $5er on the collar of the kids sleeper..throw her out in the hall and wish her the best of luck.. then teach Mom how to use the slots..

    after that its three days of Hookers and degeneracy for you, Dinobot! Godspeed!
  • It moved.
  • Anyone married with small kids who likes to play poker will eventually have to deal with these issues. Not unless you happen to have a rare wife that also enjoys poker, most can't understand why you would prefer to spend an evening playing cards instead of spending quality time with them.

    I have found the best solution is to work it out with your spouse. Come to some sort of agreement on how much time you are going to play, whether online or live. I usually play once a week on a Friday after work. Some times I will squeek in an additional night but I make sure she is aware of it ahead of time.

    With regards to the trip, I would tell the wife you want to go because there are some great deals, and if she is ok with it, then go. If she gives you a hard time, then you have your answer. IMO now is a much better time to get away from your daughter before she is a little older. At 4 months they basically eat shit and sleep. Once she starts walking and talking you will want to spend more time with her.

    I'm leaving for Vegas on Thurs to see U2 and play some poker. Before I booked anything, I got the ok from the wife and made sure it wasn't going to be a big problem. A lot of marriages are ruinned because of gambling, really as a result of lack of communication.

    Also if she realizes you are a winning player vs a loser, may make a difference. If you share your wins with her, then she will likely be more in favour of you playing.
  • pokerJAH wrote: »
    Also if she realizes you are a winning player vs a loser, may make a difference. If you share your wins with her, then she will likely be more in favour of you playing.


    It's quite amazing how true this is........from what I've been told. :)
  • Kristy_Sea wrote: »
    I'm sorry you're right..that was wayyyy out of character.

    Umm, here's the REAL Kristy-Sea plan: You pin a $5er on the collar of the kids sleeper..throw her out in the hall and wish her the best of luck.. then teach Mom how to use the slots..

    after that its three days of Hookers and degeneracy for you, Dinobot! Godspeed!

    Do babies not enjoy the hookers and the blow?
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