Watched night of champions today. Had some really good moments. Randy's modified RKO was fun, the daniel bryan/ kane team was entertaining and the main event was awesome, if you havn't seen it, go see it. I just wish they hadn't shown the hell in a cell promo on monday night raw as it kinda spoiled the results of the match for me. Even though I'm fairly new only having watched wwe for about a year now I have to say that this main event was probably the best one I've seen so far
raw was weird. Can't really tell if Ryback fucked up or if they scripted him to miss his usual finisher, it just seems strange that they'd finish the match with a clothline right after if it was scripted. I'm worried about them pushing him too hard if they're really gonna put him vs punk at HiaC
Del Rio vs. Orton - I don't have any real emotional tie in to this match. Rando's mad because he wants to be a bad guy, and Del Rio's just stale. JBL references the Eagle and the Snake on the Mexican flag, several million americans have a stunned look on their face at this new information, and several other million mutter something about lazy immigrants. They go back and forth, working the arm of Randy is smart, if expected. Oh! Del Rio goes up top and.... steps down to get closer? That was weird, then the timing was all screwy so they both looked wonky. Rando wins after ADR did nothing exciting.
Tag Match
Kane and Bryan are still doing the odd couple thing - all right, kinda okay, but not a lot of legs under it I think. Rhodes Scholars is a pretty fun tag team idea, I like Sandow, but Rhodes seems to be taking a step sideways here instead of up. Match is alright, DQ finish means more down the... shall I say it? More down the Rhode...
Miz and Kofi are fighting because Miz lost his belt on Hour 14 of WWE programming of the week. There is far too much now for anyone to follow and maintain interest. 3 hour Raw is too much, I watch it dl'ded afterwards, and usually don't get to it all until Thursday. 2 hours of Raw / SD is fine, now they have those, a Wednesday night WWE one, an NXT show, and a kids show, not to mention occasional PPV's? Being a fan shouldn't be full time work.
Anyways, solid match here... I still like the Miz - and his "AWESOME" balloon entrance is pretty great. Kofi still jumps like a goddamn Disney gummi bear.
As I watch, it's cold in here... fuck cold weather, so I started a fire, in my fireplace. Fires are nice. I ordered pizza, it's not too good.... don't go to Pizza Europe in Kitchener.
Miz working the knee and removing the boot then throwing on the Canadian Maple Leaf? Nice. Kinda hope Miz develops that as a submission finisher. My fingers smell like chicken wings. Kofi spinning kicks Miz and wins. I'd rather Miz win, he's more interesting, but okay. Cole says we learned a lot about Kofi tonight... I must have dozed off during the lesson....
Hey look, a white guy yelling at a mass of people in German - this is usually followed by fun times. Hey, another Nexus member - remember them? I never would have guessed at just which of those members would go on to great heights (Bryan, Ryback, and Barrett - soon) been mediocre (Gabriel, Darren Young, and Heath fucking Slater?), and the ones that tanked (McGillicutty and Harris). Wouldn't have been my pics. Back to the match. I like how quick Gabriel is, smooth and reminds me of a younger Rey Mysterio. Caesaro was better as "Very European" Claudio Castignoli.... but I still like the look of the guy. The Rugby player bit is pretty lame... Decent match though... Gabriel just isn't going to be taken seriously I think...
Breast cancer commercial.... Layla's mom's a victim, that's sad. Layla's mom never saw her wrestle, silver lining I guess.
Please tell me the most interesting match on the card isn't going to be buried in the middle..... Punk / Ryback should be closing the show. I get it, the beast hasn't had a > 5 minute match, but Punk can carry a bucket through a good match, and Sheamus / Big show just isn't ME material.
Phew... they didn't.. but now Rey Rey's out... I don't remember him having a match, did I miss something? Was this during the 22nd hour of weekly programming? Oh.. a tag match against the PTP... I kinda remember something happening with these guys... I just didn't care. Again, don't care about this... maybe I'll try to get rid of the garlic bread / pizza flavour with some spiced rum... Mmmmmm... I will say that Sin Cara sure has improved since coming back from that injury last year. What's with JBL referencing Kenesaw Mountain Landis anyways?
You know, I finally bought a fire extinguisher the other day for that fireplace of mine. It comes with a 10 year warranty.... I somehow think they've never had a warranty claimed.... Bitch of a way to find out.
Every "move" Titus pulls looks like he's just dropping the fucker and hurting / risking them. He's either fucking terrible, or one of the best ever. Anyways... standard match, nothing exciting. I'd rather watch Ziggler.
Fuck, is Sin Cara hurt again? What's with the fragile Mexican wrestlers lately? Oh shit... nevermind, they just showed the replay.... that would have killed Batman... or, perhaps trapped him in a hole for several weeks until he hung from a rope. (Ya, that movie still sucked)
Show vs Sheamus.... alright let's see if big Red is over.
Oh ya! Dolph says he's gonna cash in! Man, that's already more important than this match. I just don't much care for Big Show. Nice bump there though on the knee. Last time I remember seeing Show do something cool was Summer Slam - don't remember the year, but it was the one where Randy Orton won the Championship from Benoit - Where Big Show did a kip up (with rope assistance, but come on). Still kinda bored with this match.
Big red picked Show up pretty damned easily. That's scary. Kicking out of the KO punch? Didn't they "Scientifically prove" that it was enough to crush a diamond? So Show wins clean.... that's alright, protected Sheamus.... but where's Ziggler? If I was show, I would hide for at least 50 seconds since the last one didn't go well.
Ah.. the women's title is on the line. I can't believe they found a match I'd care less about. Ooh.. Teddy you minx you! Saying Eve being a witch is just one letter off. Hey, Ron Simmons is there.. wonder what he has to say.... ya, that's getting kinda old. But hey, Vinnie Mac is an apple guy!
Alright women's match. Pretty sad when the best I can say is that one of the girls hasn't had a chance to showcase her abilities yet. I'm not a fan of Eve or Layla. Still pretty happy that Kelly Kelly has gone away. Man, I thought Kaitlyn was going to steal Eddie Guerrero's three amigos. Oh man - did JBL just say "Kaitlyn? How can you tell? They're all the same!" That man is fucking awesome at times. I think it's funny that Layla's black, but magic tan makes Eve look darker. Eve Senton bombs off the top rope to break up the cunnilingus cover and that crap is over.
WWE 13 comes out Tuesday - I bought it, not quite sure why I keep buying them since I barely play them after the first week, but I do.
Punk vs Ryback - let's see what the guy's got. Pretty solid match overall, but WTF was with that finish?!?!? That's fantastic! So many questions! WILL be watching tomorrow.
The MOST important part of the PPV they managed to not screw up ryback I think, or worse they make punk look like hulk hogan, just to hold the title another 10 minutes, classic WCW rip-off stuff....worse is it can actually still be funny!
Last time I remember seeing Show do something cool was Summer Slam - don't remember the year, but it was the one where Randy Orton won the Championship from Benoit - Where Big Show did a kip up (with rope assistance, but come on).
Mark
2004 was when Orton won it. Totally don't remember that spot and I was there live. I probably used Big Show's match for a poop break.
Monday night at 11:30, and I just finished watching Raw..... from last Monday. Seriously, fuck this three hour shit. But, after that, and reading SD, here comes TLC, and with the viewing, I'll do a review. With me as always is will be the Voice INside my CErebrum (VINCE) to help enjoy the show! And... here we go!
Right off the bat, I'm not a huge fan of the TLC "shtick", mostly because, WTF is a chair match? You make one thing legal? Okay.. I guess.. Ladder matches are fun, but tables matches always seem forced.
VINCE: Shut up and watch.
26 bell salute, a nice touch.
Video package to catch everyone up to the storylines and the convoluted multi-layered tales unfolding. I kinda like this recap / voiceover start they've been doing
VINCE: (opening expensive scotch) Fuck you Bischoff.
Starting match is team "train your replacement" vs. team "pink stink" as Miz called them. JBL, Cole and the King on the call... I still don't quite know why JR isn't there over Cole, but at least he's not "evil" Cole anymore.
Something in Spanish happens.
The Brooklyn hipster? Did the Brawler have a kid? Is it a new shtick? Was he a Brooklyn 'rassler before it was cool? How did Sandow get so freaking good on the stick so quickly? Did nobody tell Cody that Movember ends at the end of the month?
VINCE: Fuck you, Tom Selleck was awesome, and I'm bringing it back.
They mention Cody's recovery, just under 4 weeks to recover from that bump? Unreal, congrats kid. Sin Cara nails him with his arm drag from the top rope, or as I like to call it "Old School with cheese" (Death stare from VINCE). Rhodes pins Sin Cara into the steps, and he immediately begins spasm-fucking them, that was awkward. Setting up some tables, couldn't you just theoretically set a guy on it, and then push really hard? Not showy I guess...
Odd.. the feed that I'm streaming just cut out
VINCE (mumbling into his glass): Fuck you freeloader
Oh, it's back
VINCE: Someone's fucking fired.
Oh, Cody just Sin Cara and he fell through a table... Winners are Rhodes Scholars with an assist from gravity.
Oh! The Shield! I'm enjoying these guys overall, Dean Ambrose looks like an amalgam of the bad guys played by Gary Oldman - greasy, sketchy, but some fucking shit is going on in those eyes. I like his look. Roman Reigns looks like a mini Khali, which still makes him like 6'4. And that other guy has funny hair. Anyways, they don't like Kane and D-Bry.
In comes Claudio Casti...
VINCE (Hits the speed dial for his lawyers): ahem...
Antonio!! He's my favorite! And he's fighting R-truth for some reason. 'Murica apparently. Caesaro freaking HATES acronyms... and it fires him up. Did JBL just call Cole a donkey? Now they're saying Antonio doesn't own cars, walks everywhere and all that kinda shit... don't these guys travel like everyday? I do not think they're telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the... oh hey! THAT'S why this match was made? Antonio hates the Truth!!
VINCE (refilling glass): Wish I'd thought of that instead of pulling out the old "Hacksaw" angle..
As an aside, just read TNA has a female referee... that's an idea me and BBC_Z came up with like 4 years ago... thought it was a great idea.
Okay, back to the match... is R-Truth really doing the old "get madder with each hit on the turnbuckle"? Seriously? Is this tribute to 1985 night?
VINCE (gets misty eyed): good times.. oh Hulk, where did we drift apart?
There is something VERY wrong with Jerry lawler saying "Come on, show us the little Jimmy". Truth gets to shine for a bit, and Antonio nails his finisher. An impressive looking one, but I don't really love it. Uh oh, if I boo him, I'm booking America? Does that mean not liking his finisher means I don't like when americans finish? Because I was just thinking earlier about that terrible moment where you realize the porn clip isn't going to include the moneyshot. Also, did everyone hear that hillbilly porn is on the rise thanks to the reality TV bump of yokel culture? Unreal.
Alright.. this is going to have to be a multi-parter, since it's nearing stupid o'clock, and I've watched 4 hours of wrestling today already. Also, VINCE is kinda taking the scotch back too quickly ( background ) "fuck you! I'll hire Nathan Jones back and fuck your shit up". MAYBE tomorrow morning I can get some more in kiddies.
Alright... let's pick up where I left off.. sorry for the delay all
Dolph.... god I love Dolph. He's better on the mic now, please give this guy a hot storyline and watch him run. Tonight everything changes? Please please please....
Huh.. somehow 3MB is getting PPV time... I don't know what to really think of these guys yet, but I'm not optimistic...Wait... they're going with racism? Ohhhhkay.... and now ADR is down? I'd heard they wanted to make him face, not the worst attempt I guess, but racism? There's been a lot of suggestions they may be dropping the PG stuff.
Find a partner? Dollar to dime says it's Ricardo, but the fans still chant Ryder? Neat. Kinda cool that at TLC last year ADR and Miz were the two heels in the main event, and now they're going face!
VINCE: I'm the fucking man
Oh! Vince... are you... have you been drinking nonstop?
VINCE: Fuck HHH that idea is all me!
Lol... Bryan Danielson has two catch phrases... YES and NO. Simple is beautiful. Oh! Wade Barrett still has a beard. I like it though, Barrett stands out a lot for a guy who quite frankly hasn't done much. Good on him. It's a shame that Kofi can't figure out how to become a presence without someone to play off of. He was great and interesting a few years back in a feud with Orton, he's been okay against Barrett and Caesaro in the last few months, but normally he's little more than window dressing.
They're pushing the slammy awards... I read somewhere there's no women's award - isn't that stunningly revealing. Haha they just referenced the feud with Randy.... It was three years ago.. ouch. Gotta admit though that the SOS finisher is pretty good, if it ever finished anyone anymore. Kofi reverses the bullhammer finisher and turns it into the trouble in paradise for the win. Not a bad match, but it's not really going to get Kofi going anywhere IMO - he's just dull to me.
VINCE: What the fuck do you know asshole? You still like Shelton Benjamin
..... he's not wrong.
Moving on, there's a plug for the WWE app, and it acts as a second screen for exclusive content during WWE programming. The fact that I'm watching Sunday's PPV on Wednesday, and might MIGHT get to Raw from Monday by Friday, I somehow doubt I'm going to be able to use that much.
Punk!! In his own box!! And wearing a "knees 2 faces" shirt? Not bad...
Okay, so we've got the most intriguing match on the card IMO up next, Shield vs team feed me vegan monsters....
VINCE: FUCK! Why do I pay those goddamn writers?
Not going to be much play by play here.. I wanna watch this one. Haha, DB won best facial hair slammy? Fucking awesome. Kinda interesting that they haven't mentioned that Bryan and Ryback were in Nexus together? Could it be because the first couple that were out of that group are now the most successful?
Feed takes a break mid match, so some thoughts. Dean Ambrose is far and away the best in the shield - they're protecting Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins seems to be close but not perfect. The story of this match is great, they're a cohesive unit, and the references to "patrolling" by Roman coupled with their para-military look is incredibly well thought out for a WWE run (remember this is the same company that gave us cabbage patch dancing Lance Storm).
VINCE: Thanks.... I think? You getting smart with me boy?
Easy VINCE. Anyways, I liked the double face plant Ryback pulled, and the facial expressions on ambrose after the double suplex were priceless. Seriously, I'm not the only one that sees this resemblance to Oldman am I?
Anyways.. on to the 2nd half....WOW did Daniel Bryan ever look good there for a bit, the lock on each guy, then fighting off the double suplex into that insane kick spot! The curb stomp to the chair looked rough. THEN Ryback starts tearing them apart, and I thought it was over with the shell shock on Ambrose - having the two guys break it up REALLY cements the unity of these guys - easily one of the better team matches I've seen in years. The go home looked like they were about to groom their new Jeff Hardy (Seth Rollins) level of insanity, but they ended up protecting Ryback, and sacrificing Bryan... not bad booking, but I think on 2nd look Rollins may be hurt.
Oh... a woman's match is next? Well, I guess people need to get beer and pee...
VINCE: But it's a championship match dammit!
Vince, nobody cares... and, wait, WTF? Naomi? When the fuck did she become a wrestler? Oh, thanks Cole, so she won because of a preshow thing, on youtube, that nobody watches. Surely this will be the moment historians mark as the beginning of the dominance of women's wrestling as the main form of entertainment society consumes
VINCE (Excitedly): You think?
Are you fucking kidding me? I'm typing this shit and not even watching, get your checkbook out and throw money at Trish until she comes back. Huh, I looked and Naomi ran and rubber her ass on Eve's face while hurdling the ropes... solid move in porn, not so much in WWE. WTF? I type one sentence and the match ends? Wow.. not even a replay on how she won, and I couldn't be bothered to even rewind it. Seriously, fuck the Divas division.
Sheamus and show up next? Really? So Cena Ziggler is the go home match? Again the title isn't the main event? Maybe when Cena retires the wrestlers can just wrap him around their waist...
I can't get into this match. We've seen it twice already, and I'm sure it's the last one of the feud. I hope Sheamus comes out with the strap. Their first match was surprisingly match of the night, but it was at one of the worst PPV's in recent memory.. Big Show is slow, and far past his prime. The best thing he could have going story wise is that whole "carte blanche" contract Johnny Ace gave him, so I don't know how he was bound to the no touching clause..
VINCE: ahhh.... fuck. Seriously, I'm firing those writers.
Alright, Sheamus hitting white noise is always impressive, and I think I heard the chair scream. Wait, did big show just grab an oversized chair for the win? Are you fucking kidding? Did Doink the Clown leave a prop behind? Why the fuck would they have a giant chair? Did Jack not cut down the beanstalk? I think even Big Show is aware how ridiculous that is.
Backstage, AJ is still hot.
3MB is in a match? Do I ever remember this? Do I much care? Answer is no to both - and it's just unfair to put them in a 6 man tag after that last one.. they're fucked.
Oh right! The bullies vs. team BeaStar. Miz, Del Rio, let's see if I was right with Ricardo... probably not, but he does wrestle. Mark Henry returning will make me die inside..
VINCE: Really?.... umm...
(Seriously, haven't revealed it yet)
I will accept almost anyone but Henry or Khali
VINCE: Khali too? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
(Del Rio still entering ring)
(Miz entering... introducing.....)
VINCE: <gulp>
Hahaha, I don't mind the brawler.
VINCE: You prefer the 50 year old gimmick character over Mark Henry AND Khali? But they're both REALLY REALLY BIG!!
.... (stares at VINCE vacantly) GO BRAWLER!
Love the references to Harvey Whippleman, Kim Chee, and Doink! I'm not the only one
VINCE (scary manic look in his eyes, muttering): Of course.. nostalgia is huge right now, we could start another show, call it "80's night..."
<SLAP> Don't you fucking dare you son of a bitch.
Somewhere in all that, the Brawler wins with the worst Boston (Brooklyn) crab in history.
Alright, this is the match that was 2nd most intriguing only because I'm afraid of the potential end. Ziggler needs to win here, because fuck John Cena. I say that not as a guy who hates Cena, I'm actually a big fan of his overall. Cena is a main eventer, cemented for nearly a decade now, and he needs no more cred. Ziggler is a talented young guy on the cusp, let him beat Cena, let him win the belt, and give us something new - a credible top tier DZ.
Once again, another one I"ll be typing few and far between because I want to watch it.
Alright, this was a pretty solid match, lots of back and forth action! I had written more out here, but sadly enough the site wouldn't let me take two days to write a post, so this sums it up nicely...
Both guys looked good, both hit their stuff, and the right man won. Vikki even no sold the shit outta AJ's 5 knuckle shuffle... probably spending too much time with HHH
VINCE: Hey that's my son in law!
What? So?
VINCE: Nothing, just contractually obligated to stick up for him.
Well, I liked crazy AJ before she became the GM, and they had to scale it back... so now she's crazy again, and I like that. I'm honestly not sure what to rate the PPV because I had to split it up, which kills the momentum and my feelings towards it.
2 HOUR MAX FOR TV SHOWS PLEASE! I honestly may have to stop watching..
It's interesting that as time goes by, our top guys are getting smaller and smaller. I remember thinking Hogan dwarfed the Rock at WMX8, and now the Rock's dwarfing Punk (though this is jakked to shit Rocky).
Rumble was, as always, an entertaining show - I don't have time to go through much, but I lost my damned mind when #2 entrants music hit.... then on Raw? I get to watch Raw is Jericho? I get to be a Jericholic again? FUCK YES! Also, HOF inductee Trish Stratus? I almost want to travel down for that, she's the greatest Women's Wrestler of all time - bar none.
However, nothing's 100%, and that Raw Karaoke segment with Khali singing? He clearly doesn't even know how to read the english and precisely 0% of people enjoyed this. Poor Natalya, she's in there as a fantastic wrestler, and paired off with the freaks of the company, sad.
Lesnar back isn't a bad thing, but he really seems "doughy" to me... not saying he isn't still beastly strong, but he's got more "go" muscle than "show" muscle.
Daniel Bryan / Dolph Ziggler have had like 4-5 matches in the last couple of years, I think one on PPV and the rest on Smackdown / Raw. These are some of the most under appreciated matches we've had. They are outstanding.
The most useless and unattractive twins on TV are back? Fuck... they let Beth Phoenix, Kharma, Gail Kim - all still active wrestlers or able to be - go. They take their best female in-ring talent (Natalya) and make her the eye candy of the WORST in ring worker they have (flip those roles for a second - Khali just accompanying and being a "Trophy Husband" while Nat destroys the other "talent", and suddenly you have a story you can build on). They put the strap on.. umm.. that new girl who's never on the top shows...
Is there anything they could have done that was possibly worse than all this? Maybe bring Kelly Kelly back....
Comments
So, everyone knows CM Punk smacked a fan during the end of Raw, and the guy is flip flopping on pressing charges.
The pre-sale ticket code for Smackdown on January 22nd? "SMACKFAN". Nice.
Mark
Actually quite comical, WWE has not been amusing for a while
So far:
Del Rio vs. Orton - I don't have any real emotional tie in to this match. Rando's mad because he wants to be a bad guy, and Del Rio's just stale. JBL references the Eagle and the Snake on the Mexican flag, several million americans have a stunned look on their face at this new information, and several other million mutter something about lazy immigrants. They go back and forth, working the arm of Randy is smart, if expected. Oh! Del Rio goes up top and.... steps down to get closer? That was weird, then the timing was all screwy so they both looked wonky. Rando wins after ADR did nothing exciting.
Tag Match
Kane and Bryan are still doing the odd couple thing - all right, kinda okay, but not a lot of legs under it I think. Rhodes Scholars is a pretty fun tag team idea, I like Sandow, but Rhodes seems to be taking a step sideways here instead of up. Match is alright, DQ finish means more down the... shall I say it? More down the Rhode...
Miz and Kofi are fighting because Miz lost his belt on Hour 14 of WWE programming of the week. There is far too much now for anyone to follow and maintain interest. 3 hour Raw is too much, I watch it dl'ded afterwards, and usually don't get to it all until Thursday. 2 hours of Raw / SD is fine, now they have those, a Wednesday night WWE one, an NXT show, and a kids show, not to mention occasional PPV's? Being a fan shouldn't be full time work.
Anyways, solid match here... I still like the Miz - and his "AWESOME" balloon entrance is pretty great. Kofi still jumps like a goddamn Disney gummi bear.
As I watch, it's cold in here... fuck cold weather, so I started a fire, in my fireplace. Fires are nice. I ordered pizza, it's not too good.... don't go to Pizza Europe in Kitchener.
Miz working the knee and removing the boot then throwing on the Canadian Maple Leaf? Nice. Kinda hope Miz develops that as a submission finisher. My fingers smell like chicken wings. Kofi spinning kicks Miz and wins. I'd rather Miz win, he's more interesting, but okay. Cole says we learned a lot about Kofi tonight... I must have dozed off during the lesson....
Hey look, a white guy yelling at a mass of people in German - this is usually followed by fun times. Hey, another Nexus member - remember them? I never would have guessed at just which of those members would go on to great heights (Bryan, Ryback, and Barrett - soon) been mediocre (Gabriel, Darren Young, and Heath fucking Slater?), and the ones that tanked (McGillicutty and Harris). Wouldn't have been my pics. Back to the match. I like how quick Gabriel is, smooth and reminds me of a younger Rey Mysterio. Caesaro was better as "Very European" Claudio Castignoli.... but I still like the look of the guy. The Rugby player bit is pretty lame... Decent match though... Gabriel just isn't going to be taken seriously I think...
Breast cancer commercial.... Layla's mom's a victim, that's sad. Layla's mom never saw her wrestle, silver lining I guess.
Please tell me the most interesting match on the card isn't going to be buried in the middle..... Punk / Ryback should be closing the show. I get it, the beast hasn't had a > 5 minute match, but Punk can carry a bucket through a good match, and Sheamus / Big show just isn't ME material.
Phew... they didn't.. but now Rey Rey's out... I don't remember him having a match, did I miss something? Was this during the 22nd hour of weekly programming? Oh.. a tag match against the PTP... I kinda remember something happening with these guys... I just didn't care. Again, don't care about this... maybe I'll try to get rid of the garlic bread / pizza flavour with some spiced rum... Mmmmmm... I will say that Sin Cara sure has improved since coming back from that injury last year. What's with JBL referencing Kenesaw Mountain Landis anyways?
You know, I finally bought a fire extinguisher the other day for that fireplace of mine. It comes with a 10 year warranty.... I somehow think they've never had a warranty claimed.... Bitch of a way to find out.
Every "move" Titus pulls looks like he's just dropping the fucker and hurting / risking them. He's either fucking terrible, or one of the best ever. Anyways... standard match, nothing exciting. I'd rather watch Ziggler.
Fuck, is Sin Cara hurt again? What's with the fragile Mexican wrestlers lately? Oh shit... nevermind, they just showed the replay.... that would have killed Batman... or, perhaps trapped him in a hole for several weeks until he hung from a rope. (Ya, that movie still sucked)
Show vs Sheamus.... alright let's see if big Red is over.
Oh ya! Dolph says he's gonna cash in! Man, that's already more important than this match. I just don't much care for Big Show. Nice bump there though on the knee. Last time I remember seeing Show do something cool was Summer Slam - don't remember the year, but it was the one where Randy Orton won the Championship from Benoit - Where Big Show did a kip up (with rope assistance, but come on). Still kinda bored with this match.
Big red picked Show up pretty damned easily. That's scary. Kicking out of the KO punch? Didn't they "Scientifically prove" that it was enough to crush a diamond? So Show wins clean.... that's alright, protected Sheamus.... but where's Ziggler? If I was show, I would hide for at least 50 seconds since the last one didn't go well.
Ah.. the women's title is on the line. I can't believe they found a match I'd care less about. Ooh.. Teddy you minx you! Saying Eve being a witch is just one letter off. Hey, Ron Simmons is there.. wonder what he has to say.... ya, that's getting kinda old. But hey, Vinnie Mac is an apple guy!
Alright women's match. Pretty sad when the best I can say is that one of the girls hasn't had a chance to showcase her abilities yet. I'm not a fan of Eve or Layla. Still pretty happy that Kelly Kelly has gone away. Man, I thought Kaitlyn was going to steal Eddie Guerrero's three amigos. Oh man - did JBL just say "Kaitlyn? How can you tell? They're all the same!" That man is fucking awesome at times. I think it's funny that Layla's black, but magic tan makes Eve look darker. Eve Senton bombs off the top rope to break up the cunnilingus cover and that crap is over.
WWE 13 comes out Tuesday - I bought it, not quite sure why I keep buying them since I barely play them after the first week, but I do.
Punk vs Ryback - let's see what the guy's got. Pretty solid match overall, but WTF was with that finish?!?!? That's fantastic! So many questions! WILL be watching tomorrow.
That's how you book that match. Well done WWE.
Mark
2004 was when Orton won it. Totally don't remember that spot and I was there live. I probably used Big Show's match for a poop break.
Mark
Monday night at 11:30, and I just finished watching Raw..... from last Monday. Seriously, fuck this three hour shit. But, after that, and reading SD, here comes TLC, and with the viewing, I'll do a review. With me as always is will be the Voice INside my CErebrum (VINCE) to help enjoy the show! And... here we go!
Right off the bat, I'm not a huge fan of the TLC "shtick", mostly because, WTF is a chair match? You make one thing legal? Okay.. I guess.. Ladder matches are fun, but tables matches always seem forced.
VINCE: Shut up and watch.
26 bell salute, a nice touch.
Video package to catch everyone up to the storylines and the convoluted multi-layered tales unfolding. I kinda like this recap / voiceover start they've been doing
VINCE: (opening expensive scotch) Fuck you Bischoff.
Starting match is team "train your replacement" vs. team "pink stink" as Miz called them. JBL, Cole and the King on the call... I still don't quite know why JR isn't there over Cole, but at least he's not "evil" Cole anymore.
Something in Spanish happens.
The Brooklyn hipster? Did the Brawler have a kid? Is it a new shtick? Was he a Brooklyn 'rassler before it was cool? How did Sandow get so freaking good on the stick so quickly? Did nobody tell Cody that Movember ends at the end of the month?
VINCE: Fuck you, Tom Selleck was awesome, and I'm bringing it back.
They mention Cody's recovery, just under 4 weeks to recover from that bump? Unreal, congrats kid. Sin Cara nails him with his arm drag from the top rope, or as I like to call it "Old School with cheese" (Death stare from VINCE). Rhodes pins Sin Cara into the steps, and he immediately begins spasm-fucking them, that was awkward. Setting up some tables, couldn't you just theoretically set a guy on it, and then push really hard? Not showy I guess...
Odd.. the feed that I'm streaming just cut out
VINCE (mumbling into his glass): Fuck you freeloader
Oh, it's back
VINCE: Someone's fucking fired.
Oh, Cody just Sin Cara and he fell through a table... Winners are Rhodes Scholars with an assist from gravity.
Oh! The Shield! I'm enjoying these guys overall, Dean Ambrose looks like an amalgam of the bad guys played by Gary Oldman - greasy, sketchy, but some fucking shit is going on in those eyes. I like his look. Roman Reigns looks like a mini Khali, which still makes him like 6'4. And that other guy has funny hair. Anyways, they don't like Kane and D-Bry.
In comes Claudio Casti...
VINCE (Hits the speed dial for his lawyers): ahem...
Antonio!! He's my favorite! And he's fighting R-truth for some reason. 'Murica apparently. Caesaro freaking HATES acronyms... and it fires him up. Did JBL just call Cole a donkey? Now they're saying Antonio doesn't own cars, walks everywhere and all that kinda shit... don't these guys travel like everyday? I do not think they're telling the truth the whole truth and nothing but the... oh hey! THAT'S why this match was made? Antonio hates the Truth!!
VINCE (refilling glass): Wish I'd thought of that instead of pulling out the old "Hacksaw" angle..
As an aside, just read TNA has a female referee... that's an idea me and BBC_Z came up with like 4 years ago... thought it was a great idea.
Okay, back to the match... is R-Truth really doing the old "get madder with each hit on the turnbuckle"? Seriously? Is this tribute to 1985 night?
VINCE (gets misty eyed): good times.. oh Hulk, where did we drift apart?
There is something VERY wrong with Jerry lawler saying "Come on, show us the little Jimmy". Truth gets to shine for a bit, and Antonio nails his finisher. An impressive looking one, but I don't really love it. Uh oh, if I boo him, I'm booking America? Does that mean not liking his finisher means I don't like when americans finish? Because I was just thinking earlier about that terrible moment where you realize the porn clip isn't going to include the moneyshot. Also, did everyone hear that hillbilly porn is on the rise thanks to the reality TV bump of yokel culture? Unreal.
Alright.. this is going to have to be a multi-parter, since it's nearing stupid o'clock, and I've watched 4 hours of wrestling today already. Also, VINCE is kinda taking the scotch back too quickly ( background ) "fuck you! I'll hire Nathan Jones back and fuck your shit up". MAYBE tomorrow morning I can get some more in kiddies.
Mark
Dolph.... god I love Dolph. He's better on the mic now, please give this guy a hot storyline and watch him run. Tonight everything changes? Please please please....
Huh.. somehow 3MB is getting PPV time... I don't know what to really think of these guys yet, but I'm not optimistic...Wait... they're going with racism? Ohhhhkay.... and now ADR is down? I'd heard they wanted to make him face, not the worst attempt I guess, but racism? There's been a lot of suggestions they may be dropping the PG stuff.
Find a partner? Dollar to dime says it's Ricardo, but the fans still chant Ryder? Neat. Kinda cool that at TLC last year ADR and Miz were the two heels in the main event, and now they're going face!
VINCE: I'm the fucking man
Oh! Vince... are you... have you been drinking nonstop?
VINCE: Fuck HHH that idea is all me!
Lol... Bryan Danielson has two catch phrases... YES and NO. Simple is beautiful. Oh! Wade Barrett still has a beard. I like it though, Barrett stands out a lot for a guy who quite frankly hasn't done much. Good on him. It's a shame that Kofi can't figure out how to become a presence without someone to play off of. He was great and interesting a few years back in a feud with Orton, he's been okay against Barrett and Caesaro in the last few months, but normally he's little more than window dressing.
They're pushing the slammy awards... I read somewhere there's no women's award - isn't that stunningly revealing. Haha they just referenced the feud with Randy.... It was three years ago.. ouch. Gotta admit though that the SOS finisher is pretty good, if it ever finished anyone anymore. Kofi reverses the bullhammer finisher and turns it into the trouble in paradise for the win. Not a bad match, but it's not really going to get Kofi going anywhere IMO - he's just dull to me.
VINCE: What the fuck do you know asshole? You still like Shelton Benjamin
..... he's not wrong.
Moving on, there's a plug for the WWE app, and it acts as a second screen for exclusive content during WWE programming. The fact that I'm watching Sunday's PPV on Wednesday, and might MIGHT get to Raw from Monday by Friday, I somehow doubt I'm going to be able to use that much.
Punk!! In his own box!! And wearing a "knees 2 faces" shirt? Not bad...
Okay, so we've got the most intriguing match on the card IMO up next, Shield vs team feed me vegan monsters....
VINCE: FUCK! Why do I pay those goddamn writers?
Not going to be much play by play here.. I wanna watch this one. Haha, DB won best facial hair slammy? Fucking awesome. Kinda interesting that they haven't mentioned that Bryan and Ryback were in Nexus together? Could it be because the first couple that were out of that group are now the most successful?
Feed takes a break mid match, so some thoughts. Dean Ambrose is far and away the best in the shield - they're protecting Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins seems to be close but not perfect. The story of this match is great, they're a cohesive unit, and the references to "patrolling" by Roman coupled with their para-military look is incredibly well thought out for a WWE run (remember this is the same company that gave us cabbage patch dancing Lance Storm).
VINCE: Thanks.... I think? You getting smart with me boy?
Easy VINCE. Anyways, I liked the double face plant Ryback pulled, and the facial expressions on ambrose after the double suplex were priceless. Seriously, I'm not the only one that sees this resemblance to Oldman am I?
Anyways.. on to the 2nd half....WOW did Daniel Bryan ever look good there for a bit, the lock on each guy, then fighting off the double suplex into that insane kick spot! The curb stomp to the chair looked rough. THEN Ryback starts tearing them apart, and I thought it was over with the shell shock on Ambrose - having the two guys break it up REALLY cements the unity of these guys - easily one of the better team matches I've seen in years. The go home looked like they were about to groom their new Jeff Hardy (Seth Rollins) level of insanity, but they ended up protecting Ryback, and sacrificing Bryan... not bad booking, but I think on 2nd look Rollins may be hurt.
Oh... a woman's match is next? Well, I guess people need to get beer and pee...
VINCE: But it's a championship match dammit!
Vince, nobody cares... and, wait, WTF? Naomi? When the fuck did she become a wrestler? Oh, thanks Cole, so she won because of a preshow thing, on youtube, that nobody watches. Surely this will be the moment historians mark as the beginning of the dominance of women's wrestling as the main form of entertainment society consumes
VINCE (Excitedly): You think?
Are you fucking kidding me? I'm typing this shit and not even watching, get your checkbook out and throw money at Trish until she comes back. Huh, I looked and Naomi ran and rubber her ass on Eve's face while hurdling the ropes... solid move in porn, not so much in WWE. WTF? I type one sentence and the match ends? Wow.. not even a replay on how she won, and I couldn't be bothered to even rewind it. Seriously, fuck the Divas division.
Sheamus and show up next? Really? So Cena Ziggler is the go home match? Again the title isn't the main event? Maybe when Cena retires the wrestlers can just wrap him around their waist...
I can't get into this match. We've seen it twice already, and I'm sure it's the last one of the feud. I hope Sheamus comes out with the strap. Their first match was surprisingly match of the night, but it was at one of the worst PPV's in recent memory.. Big Show is slow, and far past his prime. The best thing he could have going story wise is that whole "carte blanche" contract Johnny Ace gave him, so I don't know how he was bound to the no touching clause..
VINCE: ahhh.... fuck. Seriously, I'm firing those writers.
Alright, Sheamus hitting white noise is always impressive, and I think I heard the chair scream. Wait, did big show just grab an oversized chair for the win? Are you fucking kidding? Did Doink the Clown leave a prop behind? Why the fuck would they have a giant chair? Did Jack not cut down the beanstalk? I think even Big Show is aware how ridiculous that is.
Backstage, AJ is still hot.
3MB is in a match? Do I ever remember this? Do I much care? Answer is no to both - and it's just unfair to put them in a 6 man tag after that last one.. they're fucked.
Oh right! The bullies vs. team BeaStar. Miz, Del Rio, let's see if I was right with Ricardo... probably not, but he does wrestle. Mark Henry returning will make me die inside..
VINCE: Really?.... umm...
(Seriously, haven't revealed it yet)
I will accept almost anyone but Henry or Khali
VINCE: Khali too? uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......
(Del Rio still entering ring)
(Miz entering... introducing.....)
VINCE: <gulp>
Hahaha, I don't mind the brawler.
VINCE: You prefer the 50 year old gimmick character over Mark Henry AND Khali? But they're both REALLY REALLY BIG!!
.... (stares at VINCE vacantly) GO BRAWLER!
Love the references to Harvey Whippleman, Kim Chee, and Doink! I'm not the only one
VINCE (scary manic look in his eyes, muttering): Of course.. nostalgia is huge right now, we could start another show, call it "80's night..."
<SLAP> Don't you fucking dare you son of a bitch.
Somewhere in all that, the Brawler wins with the worst Boston (Brooklyn) crab in history.
Alright, this is the match that was 2nd most intriguing only because I'm afraid of the potential end. Ziggler needs to win here, because fuck John Cena. I say that not as a guy who hates Cena, I'm actually a big fan of his overall. Cena is a main eventer, cemented for nearly a decade now, and he needs no more cred. Ziggler is a talented young guy on the cusp, let him beat Cena, let him win the belt, and give us something new - a credible top tier DZ.
Once again, another one I"ll be typing few and far between because I want to watch it.
Alright, this was a pretty solid match, lots of back and forth action! I had written more out here, but sadly enough the site wouldn't let me take two days to write a post, so this sums it up nicely...
Both guys looked good, both hit their stuff, and the right man won. Vikki even no sold the shit outta AJ's 5 knuckle shuffle... probably spending too much time with HHH
VINCE: Hey that's my son in law!
What? So?
VINCE: Nothing, just contractually obligated to stick up for him.
Well, I liked crazy AJ before she became the GM, and they had to scale it back... so now she's crazy again, and I like that. I'm honestly not sure what to rate the PPV because I had to split it up, which kills the momentum and my feelings towards it.
2 HOUR MAX FOR TV SHOWS PLEASE! I honestly may have to stop watching..
Mark
that one was pretty funny ^^'
It's interesting that as time goes by, our top guys are getting smaller and smaller. I remember thinking Hogan dwarfed the Rock at WMX8, and now the Rock's dwarfing Punk (though this is jakked to shit Rocky).
Mark
Mark
Rumble was, as always, an entertaining show - I don't have time to go through much, but I lost my damned mind when #2 entrants music hit.... then on Raw? I get to watch Raw is Jericho? I get to be a Jericholic again? FUCK YES! Also, HOF inductee Trish Stratus? I almost want to travel down for that, she's the greatest Women's Wrestler of all time - bar none.
However, nothing's 100%, and that Raw Karaoke segment with Khali singing? He clearly doesn't even know how to read the english and precisely 0% of people enjoyed this. Poor Natalya, she's in there as a fantastic wrestler, and paired off with the freaks of the company, sad.
Lesnar back isn't a bad thing, but he really seems "doughy" to me... not saying he isn't still beastly strong, but he's got more "go" muscle than "show" muscle.
Mark
Daniel Bryan / Dolph Ziggler have had like 4-5 matches in the last couple of years, I think one on PPV and the rest on Smackdown / Raw. These are some of the most under appreciated matches we've had. They are outstanding.
Mark
The most useless and unattractive twins on TV are back? Fuck... they let Beth Phoenix, Kharma, Gail Kim - all still active wrestlers or able to be - go. They take their best female in-ring talent (Natalya) and make her the eye candy of the WORST in ring worker they have (flip those roles for a second - Khali just accompanying and being a "Trophy Husband" while Nat destroys the other "talent", and suddenly you have a story you can build on). They put the strap on.. umm.. that new girl who's never on the top shows...
Is there anything they could have done that was possibly worse than all this? Maybe bring Kelly Kelly back....
Mark
Best Raw in awhile and like best crowd ever.
WWE: Raw Best Crowd Ever (The Night After Wrestlemania 29) - YouTube