Chuck Norris Thread
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
There is a widely believed myth that the Earth rotates on its axis. This is completely false. Night occurs when Chuck Norris tells the sun, "Get the fuck away. I'm tired."
Chuck Norris was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Chuck Norris clogs the toilet even when he pisses.
Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.
If at first you don't succeed, you are obviously not Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has to maintain a concealed weapon license in all 50 states in order to legally wear pants.
There is a widely believed myth that the Earth rotates on its axis. This is completely false. Night occurs when Chuck Norris tells the sun, "Get the fuck away. I'm tired."
Comments
Chuck Norris kill 3 white people every week, just to prove that he's not a racist.
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but the Grimp Reaper can't get up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris isn't hung like a horse. Horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
LMFAO!!
Been a long time since I saw this site...but, it's a classic.
chuck norris does not teabag the ladies, he potato sacks them
I read this half an hour ago and I'm still laughing!!!
I love it too - I heard it weeks ago, and laugh whenever i pull out that joke
but chuck norris was replaced with Phil Gordon.
Gina