Problem with someone on another forum - how to deal

Hey folks.

I have been racking my brain to figure out an appropriate solution for a silly little problem that has sprouted up on another fine forum. It isn't really a forum, but rather the toronto poker meetup group, which some of you are members of, I'm sure.

The dude who took over the group a few months ago seems to have a problem with me. He believes that I had some reason to make a crank call to the venue he scheduled his game at and make some sort of stink that caused them to pull the plug on him. I, of course, had nothing to do with this, but he seems to be unwilling to discuss anything and has made up his mind on the issue.

I have had to remove him from my group's mailing list for using obscenities (directed at me, of course) and he is now making threats to me via text message to my phone. He has also decided to remove me from the other group for such things as failing to pay dues and offering items for sale. The threats take the form of, "why do you think you can F with me?", or, "you're playing with fire!". I hate having to fight with someone who acts like a teenager, especially when the problem is baseless in the first place.

Anyone who has met me knows I am not the type to ruin someone else's plan and I cannot even get this guy on the phone to discuss the problem. If he could produce a tangible reason for why he thinks I would have started anything, I would love to hear it.

I suppose this is partially a vent/rant but I would honestly be interested in hearing people's suggestions in how I might deal with this and make it go away.

HELP!

Comments

  • forum member or any common friend who could "broker" a meeting/sit down.

    Sounds like it has escalated to something that might best be solved face to face.
    Meanings and delivery of messages are lost when Typed/ on phone etc.

    Given the threats etc, pick a Tim Horton's...24 hrs, well lit, security cameras...
    and even I find it tough to get angry around donuts.

    Good luck.
  • Not knowing the entire situation or the other person involved, I would tread very lightly. If he has got to the point of texting your phone, he may escalate it further. You really only have two choices, drop out and let him think he won. Or you can try and follow Wolffhound's suggestion, although I don't think he'll go for it.
  • I visited the Fallsview poker area this weekend. So I was to miss yet another relaunch of the meetup. Before leaving, I saw the meetup cancellation email. He said he had a good idea who it was. I'm surprised to learn he thinks you're the culprit.

    Worst case, you have a nemesis. Play accordingly.
  • Whenever you figure something out, let magi and I know :)
  • BBC Z wrote:
    Whenever you figure something out, let magi and I know :)

    *applause*
  • BBC Z wrote:
    Whenever you figure something out, let magi and I know :)


    classic
  • Admitting that the two of you have a problem is the first step to recovery... :wink:

    Great line BBC.
  • Of course, he reads my original post, and sends ANOTHER text message threatening to 'put it where the sun don't shine' (cleaned up for the forumites) beacuse I am f'ing with a 30 year old teenager. I kinda wish he would make sense in the first place, but oh well.

    I am happy to let this drop, but the thing is, I get the feeling this person is not that type. I have a hard time believing anything might actually come of this, but you never know. Taking this to the police would definitely escalate things but as I said, I am happy to let this drop.

    I assume he will read this too, so I await the next brilliantly worded threat to insert something somewhere on me or something else nonsensical.

    BBC, the 4 of us could always get into the ring for some tag team action. You and I had our differences before, but I'll take a liberty and assume we're cool now. Wanna tag up? We could do the old hart foundation thing.

    Seriously though, I read the general sense is to let it drop, but we'll see how THIS message gets interpreted.
  • literation wrote:
    Worst case, you have a nemesis. Play accordingly.

    I was prepared to live my life with never having a master plan, secret lair or a nemesis.
  • I only recently joined that group, and I have read most of the posts on it concerning not only the cancellation, but everything that your nemesis wrote to you as well on the forum.

    Up until I say his response to you, I was in full support of his efforts to date, only to suddenly have the venue shut him out. Obviously, he needed to vent his frustration on someone, and for whatever reason, he chose you.

    Now I don't know what bad blood went on between you guys, but I would hate to see this forum become another battle field of words too. Especially since it would quickly lost I'm sure by a_a here.

    As far as settling this, you both need to talk about it. If he only wants to throw accusations at you and not discuss it calmly over a coffee or beer, then there's nothing you can do except say you tired to iron things out for you part. Far as I'm concerned, alot of growing up is required.

    Also, if he has any proof of any wrong doing on your part, he should have brought it up on the other forum when the cancellation was made and supported his claims. So far, nothing I would call concrete has appreared except accusations.

    Honestly, I'm not so sure why I haven't boycotted that other forum yet anyway. I only joined to find others of similiar interest and get into some more play with others. I STILL think that group could be alot better, but until this is handled like mature people, it won't be. Get a face to face meeting with him, have others from the group around, and work this crap out!!!
  • Especially since it would quickly lost I'm sure by a_a here.
    I would try to clear out a ridiculous war of words from this forum as quickly as possible. To give credit where credit is certainly due, though, Scotty is usually THE MAN when it comes to deleting/banning/etc.... material that he finds offensive. Certainly, though, if either of us saw something even close to what you're describing at this other website, it wouldn't be up for long, and the people responsible would likely find that their IP addresses would be unable to access this forum again.
  • all_aces wrote:
    Scotty is usually THE MAN when it comes to deleting/banning/etc.... material that he finds offensive.

    Scotty has even deleted some of my bad jokes before!!

    Consider this dropped all. Sorry to waste bandwidth (with the new Rogers limit and all). I was having a lousy day and I just neede to vent.

    Cheers
  • I would just email him and let him know you had nothing to do with it and everything should be dropped. If he does take it so far as to attack you or something, I'm sure it will turn into a nice increase to your BR:)
  • Yorkpoker wrote:
    Sorry to waste bandwidth (with the new Rogers limit and all).
    Cheers

    Wait, have they finally imposed a cap?
  • BBC, the 4 of us could always get into the ring for some tag team action. You and I had our differences before, but I'll take a liberty and assume we're cool now. Wanna tag up? We could do the old hart foundation thing.

    I'd prefer to be Bret hart, but I've got the body of Jim Neidhart..
  • literation wrote:
    Wait, have they finally imposed a cap?

    I think they've always had a cap, but I've never seen it enforced. I average >80Gb/month, and the cap is 15Gb. I've never even received an E-mail :D
  • BBC Z wrote:
    I'd prefer to be Bret hart, but I've got the body of Jim Neidhart..

    or Bob Newhart?
  • The cap is at 60 GB. They don't warn you at all, they just cut you off. You can check your usage on the same screen where you can access your on-line bill.
  • Hork42 wrote:
    or Bob Newhart?

    Ouch, that hurts.
  • Yorkpoker wrote:
    Of course, he reads my original post, and sends ANOTHER text message threatening to 'put it where the sun don't shine' (cleaned up for the forumites) beacuse I am f'ing with a 30 year old teenager. I kinda wish he would make sense in the first place, but oh well.

    I am happy to let this drop, but the thing is, I get the feeling this person is not that type. I have a hard time believing anything might actually come of this, but you never know. Taking this to the police would definitely escalate things but as I said, I am happy to let this drop.

    I assume he will read this too, so I await the next brilliantly worded threat to insert something somewhere on me or something else nonsensical.

    BBC, the 4 of us could always get into the ring for some tag team action. You and I had our differences before, but I'll take a liberty and assume we're cool now. Wanna tag up? We could do the old hart foundation thing.

    Seriously though, I read the general sense is to let it drop, but we'll see how THIS message gets interpreted.


    I think that you should deal with this the old-fashioned way: Pistols at dawn.

    But seriously, you should both get in the boxing ring and have a few rounds of fisticuffs.

    Or, you could call him on the phone and make sad-whimpering dog-noises.

    Or, admit guilt and apologise for pretending to be Global TV.


    You should keep records of all the correspondence ( for legal matters ) and just shelve it in the "who gives a shit anyway" folder.
  • BE SURE TO WEAR A CHASTITY BELT !



    http://www.pulse24.com/News/Top_Story/20050322-009/page.asp

    Here’s a story with the kind of ending you may not be expecting. A woman makes contact with a man in an online chatroom and he arranges to meet her at a secluded location in Brampton.

    You probably think you know what’s coming next. But according to Toronto Police, you’re wrong.

    When the 26-year-old male showed up last Sunday for his rendezvous, he was met by two men instead. One was brandishing a knife and told the surprised surfer they had a gun nearby.

    When the woman he was supposed to meet showed up, they forced him to turn over his car keys, then took him on a ride through the G.T.A. to withdraw cash at various bank machines.

    When they tried to stash their captive at a hotel room downtown, he was finally able to alert the staff, who called police.

    They collared the 21-year-old woman and her two companions, ages 25 and 30. The trio is now facing a variety of charges including forcible confinement, extortion and robbery. They made their first appearance Tuesday morning at College Park Courts.

    Cops are hoping others will take a lesson from the man’s terrifying experience and be extra cautious before agreeing to meet anyone they don’t know from an online chatroom.



    March 22, 2005
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