Poker haikus
I started this the other night and thought it might be fun
Here is my poker haiku about Phil Hellmuth
I was beat by Duke
Was outplayed by everyone
But I still whined loud
Maybe others would have some insights that could be funny.
Remember a haiku is measured by syllables and goes 5-7-5.
Can't wait to see what everyone thinks up.
And you don't all have to bash on Phil like i did.
Cheers Paul
Here is my poker haiku about Phil Hellmuth
I was beat by Duke
Was outplayed by everyone
But I still whined loud
Maybe others would have some insights that could be funny.
Remember a haiku is measured by syllables and goes 5-7-5.
Can't wait to see what everyone thinks up.
And you don't all have to bash on Phil like i did.
Cheers Paul
Comments
TJ Slowrolled Him
At the Showdown at the Sands
I laughed when he whined
Please, just give me a flop, please
Shit, maybe I bluff
Button raised again
this time i will catch him, flop
damn, cracked aces
yes i have the nutz
check, must hide my emotions
your all in? thank you
Ok I really have to focus on my real job
When will he burn a card next
Did he fold or not
World Series of Poker, wow!
I wake up sweating
The cave and The Pit
The Bristol Street nightclub/casino
The KWPT
You called me with that?
How the hell do you play that hand!?!
Oh hold on, I win.
pointed cutting and so true
can't make a mistake again
will play smart after rebuy
dirty whore side game
Magithighs! BBC-Z!
(They like to hold hands)
Bristol Street Thirteen
Dirty Whore would like to play
More than three hands.
Do not mess with me
I'm the syllable police
I won't stop counting.
With middle pair, no kicker?
It was not a bluff.
Bad beats aplenty
While playing Brantford 5-10.
Tilt? Stay cool and win?
A bad beat story
That my friends don't want to hear.
I know a forum...
A hand shakes and shakes
As my opponent looks down.
Can I lay down Kings?
Ace-King of diamonds
Facing a raise and re-raise.
Monkey makes me call.
Visions of the year:
May: Win World Series entry.
June: Santa Smileys.
ScottyZ
Party Poker Rocks
I am an affiliate
please play there for me
Stars is the best site
Professionals all play there
you should play there too
There's this site giving
massive deposit bonus
but sign up through me
who would have ever thought that
the boat was coming?
Why oh why dear lord,
did you let me get into
this mess of a hand?
I hate her smile
she knows how to anger me
stupid river queen
that is so damn cool
I wish I could shuffle checks
like they on TV
Ben Affleck does it
James Woods looks pretty cool too
GET A REAL JOB
I play world as one, all_aces
now read stuff below
(yes i did think about putting all this info in Haiku form)
Basic Syllable Rules
1. To find the number of syllables:
---count the vowels in the word,
---subtract any silent vowels, (like the silent "e" at the end of a word or the second vowel when two vowels a together in a syllable)
---subtract one vowel from every dipthong, (diphthongs only count as one vowel sound.)
---the number of vowels sounds left is the same as the number of syllables.
The number of syllables that you hear when you pronounce a word is the same as the number of vowels sounds heard. For example:
The word "came" has 2 vowels, but the "e" is silent, leaving one vowel sound and one syllable.
The word "outside" has 4 vowels, but the "e" is silent and the "ou" is a diphthong which counts as only one sound, so this word has only two vowels sounds and therefore, two syllables.
2. Divide between two middle consonants.
Split up words that have two middle consonants. For example:
hap/pen, bas/ket, let/ter, sup/per, din/ner, and Den/nis. The only exceptions are the consonant digraphs. Never split up consonant digraphs as they really represent only one sound. The exceptions are "th", "sh", "ph", "th", "ch", and "wh".
3. Usually divide before a single middle consonant.
When there is only one syllable, you usually divide in front of it, as in:
"o/pen", "i/tem", "e/vil", and "re/port". The only exceptions are those times when the first syllable has an obvious short sound, as in "cab/in".
4. Divide before the consonant before an "-le" syllable.
When you have a word that has the old-style spelling in which the "-le" sounds like "-el", divide before the consonant before the "-le". For example: "a/ble", "fum/ble", "rub/ble" "mum/ble" and "thi/stle". The only exception to this are "ckle" words like "tick/le".
5. Divide off any compound words, prefixes, suffixes and roots which have vowel sounds.
Split off the parts of compound words like "sports/car" and "house/boat". Divide off prefixes such at "un/happy", "pre/paid", or "re/write". Also divide off suffixes as in the words "farm/er", "teach/er", "hope/less" and "care/ful". In the word "stop/ping", the suffix is actually "-ping" because this word follows the rule that when you add "-ing" to a word with one syllable, you double the last consonant and add the "-ing".
How bitter is he
That Devin caught a mistake
and now he fights back
Dictionary dot com knows.
STP is smart.
"I don't think so!", Homey Claus.
Check the 411
An Old school Haiku
Getting off topic happens
let us talk poker
Grown men fight like kids
Am not! Are too! Tempers rise.
Ignore on. Ahhhhhhhhh bliss.
night after night after night?
A-A! Sleep can wait...
lots of poetic words make puns
cards like life over done
stp
after an hour long lunch
boy, Haikus are fun
Do pocket kings win?
Always an ace on the flop
I should just muck them
Why did he play 3's?
I had every draw out there
but his hand held up ...
Is a heart coming?
there should be 9 of them left,
but i don't think so
I am the short stack
that last stupid hand killed me
I shouldn't have called
Rounders, a good flick
"I stick it in you" he says ..
. . Teddy KGB
My votes for best ones:
ScottyZ is the winner!
I'm laughing out loud.
80 people + 16
Fin: Lucky 13
( 80 people + 16 from a waiting list. How the blinds were crippling :eek:, more "bluff and roulette" than poker ( I'm used to No Limit Hold Em - dislike 15/30 etc. ))
I had a ! ! *terrific* ! !
http://www.redhotpokertour.com/
I'm sure that playing under pressure will help when I eventually play cash games.
Vegas - Sin City.
Bright lights, big city; cards, sex.
Viva Las Vegas.
p.s. I've never been to Vegas, so it's just a perception.
Vegas - Sin City.
Bright lights, big city; cards, sex.
Fish, sharks, hustle, loose.
Guden, tired of turning tricks.
Leaving Las Vegas.