Brampton home game>Looking one or two Donkeys

esoolesool
in Poker Games
I have been running a bi-weekly game for 5 years now and am running out of crappy players.
They either improve or get out of of the game due to the losses they finally realize..

If you are a bad player or just like to have a laugh with the boys and are not worried about money, we want you!

Our group consists of mainly 30 something males that drink beer and watch sports and call each other names.

If you like to wear shades, Ipod and a hoody at the table this game is definitely NOT for you.

If you are a early 20 year old hot female looking for a good time... :)

Game one starts Monday Jan 11.
Details of the game below.

Comments

  • esoolesool
    Below is the 2009 format. This year I am going to stick with only one table.
    esool wrote: »

    Woody’s Series of Poker 2009

    We play every second Monday at 8pm.
    $60 Rebuy. 2500 chips. 17 players max. (9+8)
    $10 per player goes towards Mito March for Kirkland kilbride research fund mitochondrial fundraiser(Sick Kids Hospitial).
    $60 unlimited rebuys for the first hour.
    $20 optional add on = 1500 chips.

    Blinds increase every 20 minutes as follows
    25-50
    50-100
    100-200 last rebuy level
    Ten minute break & add on. Smoke cigarettes, they’re cool.
    150-300
    200-400
    300-600
    400-800
    500-1000
    1000-2000
    1500-3000
    2000-4000
    2500-5000


    How things work at “Woody’s”
    1. We play every 2nd Monday.
    2. At 8pm I will deal the cards, so it would be nice if you came a little early.
    3. I do not take a rake, so please don’t piss on my bathroom floor or pour your beer onto my tables.
    4. * “We” skim $50 from the pot at the end of the night to go towards our Tournament of Champions end of season game.
    5. **Losers drink and eat for free: The 1st place winner brings a case of beer to the next Monday’s game and second place brings the snacks. Chips, pop, licorice etc.
    There is nothing worse then watching last games winner come down the stairs empty handed…Fuck me, how does that happen?? If you think you may not come to the next game then give someone else the $$ to pick up the shit for you.
    6. The winner gets to wear/take home the Champion’s diamond bracelet. Just make sure it is at the next game please.
    7. The Champ. No more bullshit where some shit player happens to win the big game and becomes the Champ for a year. I will track everyone’s gross winnings and the player that wins the most money will be crowned the Champ for the year and will get to keep the bracelet. (1st, 2nd and 3rd get trophies)
    8. The Champ of the year gets his ugly mug (8x10) up on the wall at Woody’s.
    9. The Chump of the year will still be the player that was knocked out first the most often; regardless of how much money he has won.

    Payouts:
    50/30/20%


    *The Tournament of Champions. Freeze out free roll for the winners that have played a minimum 5 games.
    All the first place winners from the year are entered into this game. There should be $1300(Less trophy expenses) in the pot from the 26 games. Unless I have spent the cash again, in which case the game will be cancelled. Sorry.
    Each additional game a player takes first place in the regular season he will earn an extra 20% in starting chips.
    This way the players that win the most games get an extra bonus over the zucchini that gets lucky once. .

    Rules/Guidelines: How about we just use common sense? No I guess I better lay out some rules…

    -No rabbit hunting. It takes up precious time and the player that didn’t have balls to call the last bet can go fuck himself.
    -No “Enzo betting” or as they used to call it, string betting.
    -Betting. The minimum bet in any round is equal to the size of the big blind.
    -If you put a single chip in the pot that is larger than the bet, but do not announce a raise, you are assumed to have only called.
    -Announce your bets/raises. If you are betting/raising to $550 just say so, this way there will be no problems.
    A raise must always be at least the size of the previous bet or raise.
    -Don’t slow roll. What the fuck is this shit?! Two or more guys are all in and they are all waiting for the other guy to open his cards first?! Fuck off and open your cards. What are we 14yrs old? The same goes for the showdown. If you know you got the shit just show it, otherwise the bettor is supposed to show first. Either way lets just speed this shit up girls.
    -Show both cards to win. One is not good enough cool guy, show both of them.
    -Shut the fuck up. If you’re not in the hand, keep your comments to yourself. Don’t tell another player to call an all in bet or “go all in”. Don’t call out what is showing on the board. Just “shut the fuck up” as Mark would say. You feel the need to speak? How about you ask who wants a beer and then go and get them for us, Bitch.
    Another thing: Shut the fuck up about how you did last night playing Internet poker for play money. We don’t give a fuck about your play money shit.
    -Trash talk. If you have been dealt into at least one hand during the night you hold the right to say anything to anyone that has also been dealt a hand at Woody’s ever. (Providing it is not about the hand in play, see “shut the fuck up” above) Comments about one’s race, sexuality, religion, self-appointed nicknames etc are encouraged.
    -Do not expose your hand early. If you saw some shit on TV and you think you want to try it on our little Monday night game, how about you don’t? You want to be a star Tony? Save it for the final table at the WPT in Bahamas or some shit, cuz here your cards are going into the muck, mucker fucker. Sure, showing your cards at a casino cash game is allowed but this ain’t the fucken casino and it ain’t a cash game.
    -Deliberately acting out of turn is gay. A player who checks out of turn may not bet or raise on the next turn to act. An action or verbal declaration out of turn is binding if there is no bet, call, or raise by an intervening player acting after the infraction has been committed. A player who has called out of turn may not change his wager to a raise under any circumstances.
    -Bring the shit. If it is your turn to bring “the bracelet”, beer or snacks, then bring them. You took first or second place at the last game as well as the other player’s cash so don’t be a dick and show up empty handed. (Ask Kevin how fun it is)

    -Angle shooting a home game is lame and dangerous. End of story. Nice scratch on your car eh Slope?

    *I reserve the right to over rule any of these guidelines if the player’s intent is obvious and an honest mistake has been made.*


    If you are coming to the Monday night game please inform me via email in advance. All you have to do is hit the reply button and say "in".

    Suggestions? Think you have a great fucking idea that I haven’t already heard. Man I would love to hear from you. Please come to me with your bullshit suggestions, my door is always open.

    Thank you,

    Bill Wood
    Assistant to the Assistant Manager

    ~Management reserves the right to alter or disregard the above rules at any time, even in the middle of a hand if I am losing. ~

    Pm or reply here if interested.
  • compueasecompuease Admin
    esool wrote: »
    If you are a bad player or just like to have a laugh with the boys and are not worried about money, we want you!

    If you like to wear shades, Ipod and a hoody at the table this game is definitely NOT for you.
    Could fed be your guy? 2nd sentence.... maybe not...


    sorry to derail....

    Could there not be some cross pollination between your and AJ's game?
  • STR82ACESTR82ACE
    compuease wrote: »
    Could there not be some cross pollination between your and AJ's game?

    I've played Bill's game a number of times. Runs a good game, great bunch of guys for the most part. You do need a sense of man humour though. I'd play the game more often, but its on Monday nights and that's a tough one for me to make. If you go deep, its often well past midnight before its over.

    I do recommend it though, good rebuy structure, good deal of play available, and the guys make it fun to play.
  • esoolesool
    STR82ACE wrote: »
    If you go deep, its often well past midnight before its over.

    Naw, not anymore with running just the one table. It finishes between 11-11:30.

    Monday night was to tie in with watching the football game. The weekend games are when we play loose!
  • esoolesool
    compuease wrote: »
    Could there not be some cross pollination between your and AJ's game?

    I don't want to steal his crew. Besides, they would probably quit poker completely after playing with my crew of Zucchinis...
  • STR82ACESTR82ACE
    esool wrote: »
    Naw, not anymore with running just the one table. It finishes between 11-11:30.

    Monday night was to tie in with watching the football game. The weekend games are when we play loose!

    Who you trying to kid? ;)

    I'll see about coming out more often this season. BTW...you running your MITO charity game again this year?
  • esoolesool
    STR82ACE wrote: »
    BTW...you running your MITO charity game again this year?

    The one were I got absolutely hammered in the cash game? Yes, probably around March.
  • esoolesool
    compuease wrote: »
    Could fed be your guy? 2nd sentence.... maybe not...


    sorry to derail....

    Actually, you would probable like our game. You have a good sense of humour and by the sounds of it, you would make our crew feel young again.
  • compueasecompuease Admin
    esool wrote: »
    Actually, you would probable like our game. You have a good sense of humour and by the sounds of it, you would make our crew feel young again.
    Well thank you for the 1st comment and as for the 2nd, couldn't be truer... lol...

    cept I know you really want me for this.....
    esool wrote: »
    If you are a bad player or just like to have a laugh with the boys and are not worried about money, we want you!
  • Toronto PimpToronto Pimp
    Game is lots of fun if you have a sense of humor and don't take yourself too seriously.
  • esoolesool
    Toronto Pimp wrote: »
    Game is lots of fun if you have a sense of humor and don't take yourself too seriously.

    You should have stuck around after the tourney for the seminar I was putting on in the cash game. "How to turn $70 into $480"..

    Everyone was gone by midnight.
  • wildbill7145wildbill7145
    If you don't mind Esool, I'd like to borrow your 'rules/guidelines'. Very funny, to the point, covers all the issues that come up in our home games.
  • esoolesool
    wildbill7145 wrote: »
    If you don't mind Esool, I'd like to borrow your 'rules/guidelines'. Very funny, to the point, covers all the issues that come up in our home games.

    No problem as long as you do at least one of the following.

    -Whenever making a min raise, announce "Angelo Raise". Doesn't matter if you are playing at your home game or the final table at the WSOP.
    - Put up a framed portrait of me wearing an ascot and holding a cigar in your "poker room".
    -Whenever faced with an all in call when on a draw, always say out loud, "what would Bill do" before making the improper call.
  • wildbill7145wildbill7145
    You send me the picture, framed of course and it's done.
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