Funny Email Convos
Just saw this posted on another site (its hilarious!):
"It's like twitter. Except we charge people to use it."
I love his use of pie charts.
"It's like twitter. Except we charge people to use it."
I love his use of pie charts.
Comments
Matthew's non theme based fancy dress party
Blockbuster Employee of the Month
grubby
Have you seen the movie Waterworld?
This one?
I'll spend the money on drugs instead
FWIW I have no idea who this person is, just some random friend I added for Mafia wars. This came in my inbox:
WHATS GOING ON
Between You and Ruth Johnson
Ruth Johnson November 25 at 7:43am Report
WHY DO YOU KEEP ATTACKING ME WHEN I AM SUPPOSEDLY YOUR FRIEND
I ONLY LOG INTO TO GET MY MONEY AND BUY NEW PROPERTIES
CdnMoose November 25 at 7:59am
You mean in a war? It means nothing. It causes you no damage. It is only for fun and bragging rights. Whomever wins the war gets extra gifts.
Ruth Johnson November 25 at 8:15am Report
REALLY OKAY I AM STILL NOT SURE HOW TO PLAY IT
Ruth Johnson November 25 at 8:22am Report
MMM YEAH I JUST KNOW YOU HAVE TRIED TO WAR WITH ME TWO TIMES THIS WEEK I AMS SURE YOU HAVE PLENTY OF FRIENDS I KNO3 I HAVE OVER 1000 FRIENDS PLUS AND I AM PRETTY SURE DID THEY DID NOT PICK ON ME TWO DAYS THIS WEEK OR EVER IF YOU LOOK AT MY SCORES I HAD EVER BEEN BETRAYED BY MY MEMBERS I THOUGHT UNTIL I LOOKED AT MY SISTERS SCORE AND SHE HASN'T BEEN BETRAYED AT ALL
Ruth Johnson November 25 at 8:32am Report
I AM OVER IT THANKS VERY MUCH FOR RUINING MY GAME I AM GOING TO CLOSE IT DOWN NOW BULLIES ARE EVERYWHERE AND OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE ONE YOU CAN'T EVEN ANSWER ME BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOU ARE ONE I AM SO EVER PEOPLE PICKING ON ME THIS WEEK I CAN'T EVEN GO TO A SHOP WITHOUT SOME ONE ATTACKING ME THANK YOU FOR PROVING THE HUMAN RACE IS AN ASSHOL;E
Ruth Johnson November 25 at 8:41am Report
APPARENTLY YOU ARE NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE AND THAT CAN ONLY HAPPEN WHEN YOU CLOSE DOWN MY ACCOUNT BECAUSE SOMEBODY IS PICKING ON YOU HELLO THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE ON HERE IF YOU CANT PLAY THE GAME THEN QUIT BECAUSE YOU USED TO BE MY FRIEND BUT APPARENTLY YOU GUIT
AND YOU ARE TRYING TO PAY ME BACK FOR OTHER PEOPLE PICKING ON YOU
Ruth Johnson November 25 at 8:42am Report
BUT HEY I ONLY LOG INTO TO GET MY MONEY AND MY JOBS
WHICH MEANS YOU ARE A BULLY AND A LOSER BYE BYE LOSER
CdnMoose November 25 at 9:00am
Umm yeah. You are crazy. I already explained to you that War is between friends only. It is just for fun and causes you no damage or nor costs you any money. The winner of the war gets extra gifts for his mafia. So I go to war to help out my mafia. You can help me anytime in a War and get extra gifts. You can start your own wars and do the same thing for your mafia. Again if you get attacked in a War it is just a random thing and not a personal attack. Get a life.
CdnMoose November 25 at 9:02am
CdnMoose and friends overwhelmed the Mafia run by Ruth Johnson. Rob Schaaf rewarded their friends with a free Idaho Special in Mafia Wars.
Ruth Johnson November 25 at 9:13am Report
I AM OVER IT I HAVE NOTICED YOU WERE MY FRIEND BUT APPARENTLY GOT RID OF ME AND STILL PICKED ON ME BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO PLAY BECAUSE WHEN SOMEBODY HELPS YOU TO WIN A MISSION IS BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT EVEN ON
SO YOU HAVE BEEN PICKING ON ME FOR NO REASON BUT HEY YOU CAN'T DO IT ANY MORE BECAUSE I AM SICK OF YOU PICKING ON ME I HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOR THREE YEARS AND YOU ARE THE ONLY LOSER THAT PICKS ON ME AND YOU WERE ORIGINALLY PART OF MY TEAM AND HAVE KEPT IT UP FOR SOME REASON BUT HEAY I HAVE LOOKED AT YOUR SCORES THEY ARE NOT TO GOOD CONSIDERING I NEVER PICKED A FIGHT AND I BEAT YOU
The ultimate site for hilarious e-mail convos.
ex.
Original ad:
Looking for someone with chicken pox or shingles to expose to my two children. If you are still contagious and want to help, email or call ***-***-*****.
From Me to ************@***********.org
Hello,
I saw your ad and realized I could help. I have shingles right now, and the doctors tell me that it is still in the contagious stage. I live in South Bend. I would be able to visit your kids, or if you want to bring them to me, that works too. I took some sick days off from my job, so I am pretty much free any time.
Mike
From Jenn ******** to Me:
Mike thank you so much! I want my kids to be exposed before they have to go back to school so I would like to do this ASAP. How does tomorrow sound?
From Me to Jenn ********:
Jenn,
Tomorrow works for me. How do we do this? Do I just sneeze and cough on your kids or something?
Mike
From Jenn ******** to Me:
Hi Mike,
They should just be in your presence for a few minutes. Where in South Bend are you located? I can drive to you. Do you have a number you can be reached at?
From Me to Jenn ********:
Jenn,
I do have a phone, but I only have like 10 minutes left on my plan until September, and I need those minutes for ordering pizza. Lets just continue via e-mail. I live in LaSalle Park, are you familiar with it?
Also, it probably isn't a big deal, but I figured it is worth mentioning that I also have pulmonary tuberculosis right now. I hope this won't be a problem. It is probably better for your kids to get that out of the way too - it can be a real pain when you are older.
What time do you want to meet tomorrow?
Mike
From Jenn ******** to Me:
I don't want my kids to have TB. Thank you for trying to help but I am going to find someone else.
From Me to Jenn ********:
Jenn,
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you away with that. Pulmonary TB isn't that bad, and it is best if your kids get it over with when they are younger. You may as well knock it out at the same time as the chicken pox.
If you want, I can throw in malaria for an extra $50. My friend Tom just got back from Africa and I can have him come over and give it to your kids as well. He got all sorts of whacky diseases when he was in Africa. You might want your kids to get them too, just so they won't get them later if they ever visit Africa.
Mike
From Jenn ******** to Me:
Mike are you aware that TB and malaria don't work that way? People can't just "get it over with" those are very serious diseases.
From Me to Jenn ********:
Jenn,
I think I know how TB works, I have it (duh).
I just assumed you were one of those mothers who wanted to have sick children to attract pity and attention from others. Malaria is a great way to get pity from other moms! You'll be the most talked about mother in your neighborhood. You could brag about it to all the other mothers when they are going on about their sick kids - "*sigh* life is so hard with my husband at work, and my poor son has the flu."
"Oh yeah? Well my two kids have fucking malaria. Suck it."
You'll be the envy of your whole clique of mothers.
Please reconsider my offer.
Mike
From Jenn ******** to Me:
How rude. I want my kids to get chicken pox while they are young for the medical benefits, not for attention.
You have problems, Mike. Seek professional help immediately.
lol wtf.
I had shingles few years ago right at Christmas, Don't wish it on any of you, it was hell, I missed out on family christmas dinner
..there's a VACCINE for that and has been for over 15 years.
I have it on good authority (okay, Jennie McCarthy, but she still has a decent rack) that vaccines cause Autism.
Having said that, you may want to get that out of the way early, too, so knock yourselves out . . .
I've been here for three years and I haven't caught it yet.
Sure you have. But it is well known that hawt chix are just carriers.