Hookers and Blow weekend (08) - Zithal's Trip Report
HnB Trip Report
Mario was a bum and chose his family over Hooker and Blow at the last minute, so Kristy, Mark and myself planned on creating the first, of hopefully many, Hookers and Blow weekends. The original plan was to leave KW at 10am, and get on the tables no later than 12:30-1. Here's what really happened.
I get a call around 9:30 from Mark saying that there's no way Kristy will be ready by 10am, so to come by around 10:30. I kill time and then lose track of it and finally realize that I should be out the door by 10:30. I get to Mario's close to 11 and it's another 45 minutes before we're finally on the road.
Mark promptly passed out and the picture we took looked like it should titled, "The End of HnB Weekend".
Since we're 2 hours behind we decide to stop in St. Cats for lunch. We were looking out for danger beer, but I overrode that idea and made everyone stop off first at the Merch, cause I'm a beer snob. I ordered a Drunken Monkey Oatmeal Stout while Mark got the Old Hockey Ale and I convince Kristy to try the Vanilla Wheat, because I was curious and didn't want a full glass. The Wheat sounded good on paper but fell really flat in execution. The Oatmeal was fine and the Hockey Ale was not too bad either. Nothing on the menu suited Kristy's elite tastes, so we had to head elsewhere for food.
We ended up at Red Peppers or something generic sounding and have a few beers with a pizza and wings deal. Massive pizza + decent wings filled us up (and the leftovers became dinner). The bartender was a cool guy though and, by the end of the meal, bought everyone a round of tequila. Kristy downed hers and immediately became grateful that we didn't have any for the Ironman. She also immediately got smashed.
We got back on the road and Kristy took over from Mark and passed out in the back. Mark called in to get us on a 1/2NL table, which was a grand idea. We made it in to town and got a place a two minute walk from the Casino. Mark got us the room for $100 and we dropped our bags off and headed through the pouring rain to Casino Niagra.
We jumped in and they were forming a new 1/2 table, so we all got seated at the same table with equal stacks. Mark immediately gets friendly with everyone, but the dealer doesn't want to let us sing for the table, which is kinda sad. Still, our images begin to get set. Mark is the loud mouthed asshole. I'm the silent but deadly type who occasionally produces a brilliant piece of sarcasm. Kristy is a girl.
Nothing eventful to start, but it appears that the three of us are taking the majority of the pots and I wonder if the table thinks we're colluding. First big pot of the day is also the most memorable.
Mark raises in early position, Kristy re-raises and the action gets back to Mark who pushes all-in. Action's back on Kristy who's squirming a little and doesn't think she can lay down her hand. She shows JJ to the table and, in response, Mark turns over one card, showing an Ace. Mark is statue-like (though claims he was giving off signals to not call) Finally she calls and Mark tables AA, and a ~$200 pot is produced. The flop misses both players and then the turn comes. Here's what I saw from my seat.
In slow-mo fashion, the dealer peals off a Jack to the turn. Mark goes white and Kristy jumps up and says the only appropriate thing to say when delivering a bad beat to someone in a live casino...
"YES!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!"
For the next several minutes, Mark and Kristy attempt to convince the floor not to throw her out. The moment was gold. The volume at which she delivered the line had most of the tables glancing over at us while the floor staff hovered as Kristy sheepishly said, "It's ok. He's my best friend... it's ok, really." The dealer found it humerous.
The dealer, Tim, was a cool guy and did an awesome impression of Sinfeld's "Movie Phone" bit. His announcements of how many players were at the flop was Michael Buffer in style and quality. Tim also didn't mind if we sang, so the three of us entertained the table with a rousing rendition of "Show Me Your Genitals".
Not a lot of memorable hands for me, and most of them were played pretty poorly.
Hand 1 - MP with A6c and I raise to $8. Both blinds call. Flop of K33, two clubs. BB bets $10, which meant he hit because no one is letting pre-flop raisers c-bet so they can CR them later. I Insta-fold like a champ and immediately go on invisiTilt, because that's the most obvious call ever. I really honestly have no clue why I mucked. My brain is broken. Yeah, sure.. paired board and a player to act behind, but this is 1/2 NL as Casino Niagra. SB calls. Turn is a blank, BB bets $20, SB calls. River is the club, BB bets, SB pushes BB calls and SB shows the Queen high flush. Damn. Someone donate me a poker book.
Hand 2 - UTG limps, and Kristy makes is $12. I have AA, and just call, cause a) I don't mind gambling and don't want to lose the inital limper and b) I suk at pokher. The intial limper callers and the flop is a beautful, A62 rainbow. Kristy bets $15, I call, SB calls. Turn is a 7 adding a flush draw. Kristy bets $20, I make it $60, SB folds and Kristy quickly mucks KK. I win the minimum I can like a champ and show top set.
Hand 3 - Make it $8 in MP with AJo. Call from the HJ. Flop is K55 and I check. HJ bets $10 and I call. Turn is a T and I check. HJ makes it $15, I raise to $40 and HJ folds. I think that's the one hand I played good all day.
Hand 4 - Make it $8 in LP with AQo. Two callers and the flop is 77Q. One of the blinds bets $10, we all call. Turn is another 7, checked to me and I bet $15 (I think), and both call. The river is the 4th 7 and it's checked to me, and I check as well because "my Q just got counterfited". Counterfitted to the MORAL NUTS YOU DONKEY. Everyone turns over Qx, and I'm expecting a split, but then realize my Ace is the nuts. Mark berates me for checking the nuts and I'm a good player.
Enough of exposing myself for the donkey I am. Within an hour and half, Kristy verbals that she's bored and proceeds to donk off Marks money to other players, and at the 2 hour mark we decide to go watch naked girls. Kristy ends up $50, I end the session up $88 and Mark, continuing a fine tradition, gets stacked by one of his friends at the casino.
We play a quick $10 SnG as the hotel, which I win, then we head over to the Downer. The cool part of the trip is that we met TNorth there, so that was neat. The bad part is that a good chunk of my roll left my pockets and I was forced to make a walk of shame. So sad. I have no clue what time we stayed at, or what time we left, or hpow many dances we got, but I remember playing hide and go seek with Mark and strippers, while Kristy wanted to either go or have them read poetry to her.
At the end of the night, Kristy realizes that Mark is smashed and he's likely going to want to play poker when he gets back which which spells trouble for his bankroll. We lose track of Mark and so, like the good friends we are, we leave Mark to the fate of the hookers and cab it back to the hotel and set up the master plan. We're going to stall him at the hotel so that he passes out, then Kristy and I will sneak off to play more poker.
The problem with this plan is that I'm also smashed so I pass out as soon as we get back to the hotel and Kristy passes out soon after. Mark cabbed it to the casino, played poker til 5 or 6 in the morning, ending up $50, earning him the title of the "Blue Diamond Almonds Bold Player of the Day" (FU Watts!! The title has been stolen!!!!! Wait... the trip happened before the WPT Bellagio event.... n/m. You're safe, Watts.... for now...)
Actually, Mark claims he was up $350 after he cracked Aces, but it's still impressive that he ended up ahead for the session. The lesson we learned is that he plays better at the casino when we're not around to stack him.
On an aside I wake up around 5am and notice that Mark's nowhere to be found so I assume he's dead and fall back asleep.
We get up just before 11, are endlessly assumed by the hotels, "We our customers" coathanger, cash in the chips we meant to gamble with the night before and get the hell out of dodge. Looking for food we spot, "Danger Breakfast" and pull in to fill up.
I'm usually ok with breakfast but this one was pretty bad. Not sure why I'm surprised by that. At one point Kristy goes outside so that she can get her picture taken with some Danger Customers. At least that's what she said. She doesn't know that I can read lips and so I learned she was actually trying to put the "Hooker and Blow" into "Hookers and Blow Weekend" if you know what I mean. Sadly for her, the Danger Customer didn't want any of what she was selling.
On the way out of town we spotted a mini-putt so had a $10 round (Mark talked us down from $20) I started the first seven holes two over par, but dropped 6 strokes in the next two wholes and handed Mark the win. He got a hole in one on the 18th and a bell rang as he celebrated his win.
Hopped back in the car and the only eventful items on the way home was that we smelled Kristy's hand which smelled like stripper pussy and Mark made a Tim Hortons really stinky. Mark also came in Kristy's ass... but I may be getting that quote wrong.
Mario was a bum and chose his family over Hooker and Blow at the last minute, so Kristy, Mark and myself planned on creating the first, of hopefully many, Hookers and Blow weekends. The original plan was to leave KW at 10am, and get on the tables no later than 12:30-1. Here's what really happened.
I get a call around 9:30 from Mark saying that there's no way Kristy will be ready by 10am, so to come by around 10:30. I kill time and then lose track of it and finally realize that I should be out the door by 10:30. I get to Mario's close to 11 and it's another 45 minutes before we're finally on the road.
Mark promptly passed out and the picture we took looked like it should titled, "The End of HnB Weekend".
Since we're 2 hours behind we decide to stop in St. Cats for lunch. We were looking out for danger beer, but I overrode that idea and made everyone stop off first at the Merch, cause I'm a beer snob. I ordered a Drunken Monkey Oatmeal Stout while Mark got the Old Hockey Ale and I convince Kristy to try the Vanilla Wheat, because I was curious and didn't want a full glass. The Wheat sounded good on paper but fell really flat in execution. The Oatmeal was fine and the Hockey Ale was not too bad either. Nothing on the menu suited Kristy's elite tastes, so we had to head elsewhere for food.
We ended up at Red Peppers or something generic sounding and have a few beers with a pizza and wings deal. Massive pizza + decent wings filled us up (and the leftovers became dinner). The bartender was a cool guy though and, by the end of the meal, bought everyone a round of tequila. Kristy downed hers and immediately became grateful that we didn't have any for the Ironman. She also immediately got smashed.
We got back on the road and Kristy took over from Mark and passed out in the back. Mark called in to get us on a 1/2NL table, which was a grand idea. We made it in to town and got a place a two minute walk from the Casino. Mark got us the room for $100 and we dropped our bags off and headed through the pouring rain to Casino Niagra.
We jumped in and they were forming a new 1/2 table, so we all got seated at the same table with equal stacks. Mark immediately gets friendly with everyone, but the dealer doesn't want to let us sing for the table, which is kinda sad. Still, our images begin to get set. Mark is the loud mouthed asshole. I'm the silent but deadly type who occasionally produces a brilliant piece of sarcasm. Kristy is a girl.
Nothing eventful to start, but it appears that the three of us are taking the majority of the pots and I wonder if the table thinks we're colluding. First big pot of the day is also the most memorable.
Mark raises in early position, Kristy re-raises and the action gets back to Mark who pushes all-in. Action's back on Kristy who's squirming a little and doesn't think she can lay down her hand. She shows JJ to the table and, in response, Mark turns over one card, showing an Ace. Mark is statue-like (though claims he was giving off signals to not call) Finally she calls and Mark tables AA, and a ~$200 pot is produced. The flop misses both players and then the turn comes. Here's what I saw from my seat.
In slow-mo fashion, the dealer peals off a Jack to the turn. Mark goes white and Kristy jumps up and says the only appropriate thing to say when delivering a bad beat to someone in a live casino...
"YES!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!"
For the next several minutes, Mark and Kristy attempt to convince the floor not to throw her out. The moment was gold. The volume at which she delivered the line had most of the tables glancing over at us while the floor staff hovered as Kristy sheepishly said, "It's ok. He's my best friend... it's ok, really." The dealer found it humerous.
The dealer, Tim, was a cool guy and did an awesome impression of Sinfeld's "Movie Phone" bit. His announcements of how many players were at the flop was Michael Buffer in style and quality. Tim also didn't mind if we sang, so the three of us entertained the table with a rousing rendition of "Show Me Your Genitals".
Not a lot of memorable hands for me, and most of them were played pretty poorly.
Hand 1 - MP with A6c and I raise to $8. Both blinds call. Flop of K33, two clubs. BB bets $10, which meant he hit because no one is letting pre-flop raisers c-bet so they can CR them later. I Insta-fold like a champ and immediately go on invisiTilt, because that's the most obvious call ever. I really honestly have no clue why I mucked. My brain is broken. Yeah, sure.. paired board and a player to act behind, but this is 1/2 NL as Casino Niagra. SB calls. Turn is a blank, BB bets $20, SB calls. River is the club, BB bets, SB pushes BB calls and SB shows the Queen high flush. Damn. Someone donate me a poker book.
Hand 2 - UTG limps, and Kristy makes is $12. I have AA, and just call, cause a) I don't mind gambling and don't want to lose the inital limper and b) I suk at pokher. The intial limper callers and the flop is a beautful, A62 rainbow. Kristy bets $15, I call, SB calls. Turn is a 7 adding a flush draw. Kristy bets $20, I make it $60, SB folds and Kristy quickly mucks KK. I win the minimum I can like a champ and show top set.
Hand 3 - Make it $8 in MP with AJo. Call from the HJ. Flop is K55 and I check. HJ bets $10 and I call. Turn is a T and I check. HJ makes it $15, I raise to $40 and HJ folds. I think that's the one hand I played good all day.
Hand 4 - Make it $8 in LP with AQo. Two callers and the flop is 77Q. One of the blinds bets $10, we all call. Turn is another 7, checked to me and I bet $15 (I think), and both call. The river is the 4th 7 and it's checked to me, and I check as well because "my Q just got counterfited". Counterfitted to the MORAL NUTS YOU DONKEY. Everyone turns over Qx, and I'm expecting a split, but then realize my Ace is the nuts. Mark berates me for checking the nuts and I'm a good player.
Enough of exposing myself for the donkey I am. Within an hour and half, Kristy verbals that she's bored and proceeds to donk off Marks money to other players, and at the 2 hour mark we decide to go watch naked girls. Kristy ends up $50, I end the session up $88 and Mark, continuing a fine tradition, gets stacked by one of his friends at the casino.
We play a quick $10 SnG as the hotel, which I win, then we head over to the Downer. The cool part of the trip is that we met TNorth there, so that was neat. The bad part is that a good chunk of my roll left my pockets and I was forced to make a walk of shame. So sad. I have no clue what time we stayed at, or what time we left, or hpow many dances we got, but I remember playing hide and go seek with Mark and strippers, while Kristy wanted to either go or have them read poetry to her.
At the end of the night, Kristy realizes that Mark is smashed and he's likely going to want to play poker when he gets back which which spells trouble for his bankroll. We lose track of Mark and so, like the good friends we are, we leave Mark to the fate of the hookers and cab it back to the hotel and set up the master plan. We're going to stall him at the hotel so that he passes out, then Kristy and I will sneak off to play more poker.
The problem with this plan is that I'm also smashed so I pass out as soon as we get back to the hotel and Kristy passes out soon after. Mark cabbed it to the casino, played poker til 5 or 6 in the morning, ending up $50, earning him the title of the "Blue Diamond Almonds Bold Player of the Day" (FU Watts!! The title has been stolen!!!!! Wait... the trip happened before the WPT Bellagio event.... n/m. You're safe, Watts.... for now...)
Actually, Mark claims he was up $350 after he cracked Aces, but it's still impressive that he ended up ahead for the session. The lesson we learned is that he plays better at the casino when we're not around to stack him.
On an aside I wake up around 5am and notice that Mark's nowhere to be found so I assume he's dead and fall back asleep.
We get up just before 11, are endlessly assumed by the hotels, "We our customers" coathanger, cash in the chips we meant to gamble with the night before and get the hell out of dodge. Looking for food we spot, "Danger Breakfast" and pull in to fill up.
I'm usually ok with breakfast but this one was pretty bad. Not sure why I'm surprised by that. At one point Kristy goes outside so that she can get her picture taken with some Danger Customers. At least that's what she said. She doesn't know that I can read lips and so I learned she was actually trying to put the "Hooker and Blow" into "Hookers and Blow Weekend" if you know what I mean. Sadly for her, the Danger Customer didn't want any of what she was selling.
On the way out of town we spotted a mini-putt so had a $10 round (Mark talked us down from $20) I started the first seven holes two over par, but dropped 6 strokes in the next two wholes and handed Mark the win. He got a hole in one on the 18th and a bell rang as he celebrated his win.
Hopped back in the car and the only eventful items on the way home was that we smelled Kristy's hand which smelled like stripper pussy and Mark made a Tim Hortons really stinky. Mark also came in Kristy's ass... but I may be getting that quote wrong.
Comments
HnB Trip Report
Mario was a bum and chose his family over Hooker and Blow at the last minute, so Kristy, Mark and myself planned on creating the first, of hopefully many, Hookers and Blow weekends. The original plan was to leave KW at 10am, and get on the tables no later than 12:30-1. Here's what really happened.
I get a call around 9:30 from Mark saying that there's no way Kristy will be ready by 10am, so to come by around 10:30. I kill time and then lose track of it and finally realize that I should be out the door by 10:30. I get to Mario's close to 11 and it's another 45 minutes before we're finally on the road.
Kristy was preparing for the weekend, and required some time, so I also prepared. After brilliantly choosing the living room floor to sleep on, I got up by 9:30 a.m. for a nutritious breakfast of birthday cake and beer. By the time Zithal arrives, I'm one piece and four bottles in....
Mark promptly passed out and the picture we took looked like it should titled, "The End of HnB Weekend".
True story, but I have a history of randomly falling asleep in cars backseat.
Since we're 2 hours behind we decide to stop in St. Cats for lunch. We were looking out for danger beer, but I overrode that idea and made everyone stop off first at the Merch, cause I'm a beer snob. I ordered a Drunken Monkey Oatmeal Stout while Mark got the Old Hockey Ale and I convince Kristy to try the Vanilla Wheat, because I was curious and didn't want a full glass. The Wheat sounded good on paper but fell really flat in execution. The Oatmeal was fine and the Hockey Ale was not too bad either. Nothing on the menu suited Kristy's elite tastes, so we had to head elsewhere for food.
Rob fails to mention that this is my old stompin ground as I was a Brock University student. There was a car show going on so there was plenty of colourful people around, and a live band that only knew elvis tunes it would seem. Zithal decided to set the precedence for phallic imagery and ordered a pickle on a stick... now he was somewhat smelly and armed with a sharp stick.
We ended up at Red Peppers or something generic sounding and have a few beers with a pizza and wings deal. Massive pizza + decent wings filled us up (and the leftovers became dinner). The bartender was a cool guy though and, by the end of the meal, bought everyone a round of tequila. Kristy downed hers and immediately became grateful that we didn't have any for the Ironman. She also immediately got smashed.
The joint is the Chili Pepper's, and I'd been there a few times. I can't believe that Zithal didn't mention the bartender's two-tone pompadour haircut.. it was impressive... and the randoms that drank with us shared their wisdom regarding appropriate arrival times for the Sundowner, and implied a desire to put various parts of their anatomy in (we hope) Kristy.
We got back on the road and Kristy took over from Mark and passed out in the back. Mark called in to get us on a 1/2NL table, which was a grand idea. We made it in to town and got a place a two minute walk from the Casino. Mark got us the room for $100 and we dropped our bags off and headed through the pouring rain to Casino Niagra.
We jumped in and they were forming a new 1/2 table, so we all got seated at the same table with equal stacks. Mark immediately gets friendly with everyone, but the dealer doesn't want to let us sing for the table, which is kinda sad. Still, our images begin to get set. Mark is the loud mouthed asshole. I'm the silent but deadly type who occasionally produces a brilliant piece of sarcasm. Kristy is a girl.
I am seated next to "Lawrence" on my left, "Prav" on my right, and "Norman" to his right. I'm in seat 9 so the dealer is two to my left. Good guys, who let on that they may be swinging by the strippers later too. I think I'm irritating a fella named Jay to Zithal's right, so I know I'm "in the zone".
Nothing eventful to start, but it appears that the three of us are taking the majority of the pots and I wonder if the table thinks we're colluding. First big pot of the day is also the most memorable.
Mark raises in early position, Kristy re-raises and the action gets back to Mark who pushes all-in. Action's back on Kristy who's squirming a little and doesn't think she can lay down her hand. She shows JJ to the table and, in response, Mark turns over one card, showing an Ace. Mark is statue-like (though claims he was giving off signals to not call) Finally she calls and Mark tables AA, and a ~$200 pot is produced. The flop misses both players and then the turn comes. Here's what I saw from my seat.
In slow-mo fashion, the dealer peals off a Jack to the turn. Mark goes white and Kristy jumps up and says the only appropriate thing to say when delivering a bad beat to someone in a live casino...
"YES!!! FUCK YOU!!!!!"
For the next several minutes, Mark and Kristy attempt to convince the floor not to throw her out. The moment was gold. The volume at which she delivered the line had most of the tables glancing over at us while the floor staff hovered as Kristy sheepishly said, "It's ok. He's my best friend... it's ok, really." The dealer found it humerous.
I must have looked like the best bad-beat taker in history after this, not only have I just been raped for my stack on a 2-outer, but I'm telling the floor that the person to fuck off is cool.... haha
The dealer, Tim, was a cool guy and did an awesome impression of Sinfeld's "Movie Phone" bit. His announcements of how many players were at the flop was Michael Buffer in style and quality. Tim also didn't mind if we sang, so the three of us entertained the table with a rousing rendition of "Show Me Your Genitals".
And the dance too!!
<Zithal's hands edited out>
My only other hand of any interest was a late position raise on a few limpers to $10-12(?) with KJhh. Kristy calls as well as one of the limpers and it comes Jack high. My $20 seems to be enough to convince Kristy she doesn't need to swear at me anymore, and Norm gives me credit.
Also, just an FYI, a round of two mixed drinks and a beer is about $15, and a double rye and ginger is $9.50... why didn't we go to Seneca?
Enough of exposing myself for the donkey I am. Within an hour and half, Kristy verbals that she's bored and proceeds to donk off Marks money to other players, and at the 2 hour mark we decide to go watch naked girls. Kristy ends up $50, I end the session up $88 and Mark, continuing a fine tradition, gets stacked by one of his friends at the casino.
We play a quick $10 SnG as the hotel, which I win, then we head over to the Downer. The cool part of the trip is that we met TNorth there, so that was neat. The bad part is that a good chunk of my roll left my pockets and I was forced to make a walk of shame. So sad. I have no clue what time we stayed at, or what time we left, or hpow many dances we got, but I remember playing hide and go seek with Mark and strippers, while Kristy wanted to either go or have them read poetry to her.
Strippers are expensive. Very, very expensive... I need to get out of social service work to better fund the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed.
At the end of the night, Kristy realizes that Mark is smashed and he's likely going to want to play poker when he gets back which which spells trouble for his bankroll. We lose track of Mark and so, like the good friends we are, we leave Mark to the fate of the hookers and cab it back to the hotel and set up the master plan. We're going to stall him at the hotel so that he passes out, then Kristy and I will sneak off to play more poker.
The problem with this plan is that I'm also smashed so I pass out as soon as we get back to the hotel and Kristy passes out soon after. Mark cabbed it to the casino, played poker til 5 or 6 in the morning, ending up $50, earning him the title of the "Blue Diamond Almonds Bold Player of the Day" (FU Watts!! The title has been stolen!!!!! Wait... the trip happened before the WPT Bellagio event.... n/m. You're safe, Watts.... for now...)
I went for food and thought Kristy was behind me coming out the door... no luck, and when she was nowhere to be seen, I quickly checked to see if one of the 6 strippers I fell in love with were around, and then opted instead for a cab back to the hotel. Obviously foggy on the timeline here, but I get back and my two co-weekenders are unconscious and the television's on for some reason... oh well, grab my chips and off to the casino again!
Actually, Mark claims he was up $350 after he cracked Aces, but it's still impressive that he ended up ahead for the session. The lesson we learned is that he plays better at the casino when we're not around to stack him.
I wait for maybe ten minutes, and I'm back in the action... realizing that the casino wouldn't be serving alcohol this late was somewhat upsetting, but I was overjoyed to see Tim again as the dealer. We began comparing musical knowledge - trying to name all the Travelling Wilburys / Highwaymen / best singer songwriters.
A few hands of note, and remember, in my drunken state I'm clearly invincible...
Have upped my $100 to about $120 through little steals / boring pots. UTG+1 and I remember hazily something in the new Harrington book about having to raise with non-premium hands occasionally from early position for the meta-game, and all the 3:00 a.m. 1/2 players at Niagara are clearly paying attention, so I raise to $8 with 79ss. Folded around to the BB who makes it $20. Clearly he's just jealous, so I call with position and SOOOTeD :P Flop comes a lovely Js-7d-8s. BB makes the obvious continuation bet of $30 and I re-push all in. He snap calls with AA (fool), and the turn 9 shows who the better player is.
Later on, a MP raiser to $12 is just begging to be called by me on the button with 10d Jd, the BB calls and I see a flop of Ad-10c-9d. Check, raiser makes it $15, and I call it. BB pushes all in for another $59 on top however, and raiser folds. I decide I'm a hero and call, but no diamond hits to crack his obviously played set of 9's. This takes me down from my lofty $350 to $250ish when Ed sits down.
Ed is a nice enough fella, and his hat says "groom".. his entire bachelor party has already passed out, and I decide to do my best to raise enough so he can call and push me off the flop 5-6 times in a row so he can enjoy his wedding with my $. My last hand and the fella to my right raises to $8, and I can't help but think I can get him off this hand with my A6hh and make it $20 on top. I am totally right and raiser folds.... the three callers behind my I didn't see coming though. I make the continuation bet on the flop of $40 to get called and re-raised, and IGHN up $55 for this session, still down $45 overall (thank you Kristy).
On an aside I wake up around 5am and notice that Mark's nowhere to be found so I assume he's dead and fall back asleep.
What Rob doesn't know is that I win at the "Please don't wake up game" yet again...
We get up just before 11, are endlessly assumed by the hotels, "We our customers" coathanger, cash in the chips we meant to gamble with the night before and get the hell out of dodge. Looking for food we spot, "Danger Breakfast" and pull in to fill up.
I'm usually ok with breakfast but this one was pretty bad. Not sure why I'm surprised by that. At one point Kristy goes outside so that she can get her picture taken with some Danger Customers. At least that's what she said. She doesn't know that I can read lips and so I learned she was actually trying to put the "Hooker and Blow" into "Hookers and Blow Weekend" if you know what I mean. Sadly for her, the Danger Customer didn't want any of what she was selling.
On the way out of town we spotted a mini-putt so had a $10 round (Mark talked us down from $20) I started the first seven holes two over par, but dropped 6 strokes in the next two wholes and handed Mark the win. He got a hole in one on the 18th and a bell rang as he celebrated his win.
Rob forgot my brilliant plan for mini-putt. Upon leaving the "diner", I bought "danger candy"... Kristy was somewhat put off that I would purchase such delights, but little did she know these were not meant for consuming, but rather ammunition. Once at the mini-putt, she was targeted, and I managed to get one down her top *YES*. Then, bored with that, I just shotgunned the rest at her, clearly ruining her game. Also, I just want to clarify, not only did I celebrate the win, I was screaming "YES" so that everyone could hear, and was considering a victory lap.
Hopped back in the car and the only eventful items on the way home was that we smelled Kristy's hand which smelled like stripper pussy and Mark made a Tim Hortons really stinky. Mark also came in Kristy's ass... but I may be getting that quote wrong.
I believe the quote was "I'll common you right in the ass", Kristy's hand reminded me of Rhonda, and avoid the Tim Horton's / Wendy's en route to QEW Niagara, I'm not sure what the half-life of that thing was...
[/quote]
Super Putt >>>> Putt Putt
Next time.. next time
Mark
[ ] I would survive a road trip like this...
Well done sir!