Merry Effin' Christmas
I'd say I'm having a great holliday overall...but I'm definately coming away with one hell of a story.
This thread is for all the 'bah humbugs' thought we could post our most horrible stories/presents/hh's w/e and have an 'it could be worse' laugh!
Ok, here's mine:
Dec. 23/24
I woke up on the 23rd with a fierce stabbing pain in my stomach..which revealed itself shortly to be the single most debilitating case of the stomach flu I've ever experienced. I lost 10 pounds in 36 hours (for those of you who don't know me-that's about 7.5% of my body weight)
(the upside is I was too sick to get out of bed and friends and family wrapped my presents for me!)
Edit: Forgot, Lost my cellphone and all phone numbers.
Dec. 25th
My Mom gave me sexy panties for x-mas. She does this every year, but I still find it deeply disturbing to receive lace, see-through, anything from her.
I joyfully ate my X-mas dinner of purportedly digestible unseasoned mashed potatoes with my fam.
I joyfully re-tasted my X-mas dinner of unseasoned mashed potatoes with my fam. (FYI It looks the exact same both ways)
Dec. 26th
I discovered that I am, in fact, God's gift to electronic Sudoku (one of my fav. presents)
Dec. 27th
Woke up this morning with a parking ticket.
And while driving home, some lady smoked my car at the Erb st. Roundabout; rendering my hot, pimped out minivan undriveable and myself a little sore.
And while creating this thread I realized that the Santa hat I was given by a child on Christmas reads in big letters "HO HO HO" on the front.
The jokes there are endless..thank goodness I didn't wear it, choosing instead on x-mas morning to place the sexy Mom-given panties on my head. (another year of family x-mas photos RUINED!)
Ok, no sad stories...just horrible gifts, lousy stories, bad situations that'll make us all laugh.
This thread is for all the 'bah humbugs' thought we could post our most horrible stories/presents/hh's w/e and have an 'it could be worse' laugh!
Ok, here's mine:
Dec. 23/24
I woke up on the 23rd with a fierce stabbing pain in my stomach..which revealed itself shortly to be the single most debilitating case of the stomach flu I've ever experienced. I lost 10 pounds in 36 hours (for those of you who don't know me-that's about 7.5% of my body weight)
(the upside is I was too sick to get out of bed and friends and family wrapped my presents for me!)
Edit: Forgot, Lost my cellphone and all phone numbers.
Dec. 25th
My Mom gave me sexy panties for x-mas. She does this every year, but I still find it deeply disturbing to receive lace, see-through, anything from her.
I joyfully ate my X-mas dinner of purportedly digestible unseasoned mashed potatoes with my fam.
I joyfully re-tasted my X-mas dinner of unseasoned mashed potatoes with my fam. (FYI It looks the exact same both ways)
Dec. 26th
I discovered that I am, in fact, God's gift to electronic Sudoku (one of my fav. presents)
Dec. 27th
Woke up this morning with a parking ticket.
And while driving home, some lady smoked my car at the Erb st. Roundabout; rendering my hot, pimped out minivan undriveable and myself a little sore.
And while creating this thread I realized that the Santa hat I was given by a child on Christmas reads in big letters "HO HO HO" on the front.
The jokes there are endless..thank goodness I didn't wear it, choosing instead on x-mas morning to place the sexy Mom-given panties on my head. (another year of family x-mas photos RUINED!)
Ok, no sad stories...just horrible gifts, lousy stories, bad situations that'll make us all laugh.
Comments
Last year, we're doing the traditional family present stuff, when we get to my and my nephew Tom's gifts from my older sister Kim. Anyone that knows me knows that my family isn't exactly the touchy-feely emoitional kind so, we open these envelopes that contain a card saying (respectively)
"To my brother (nephew)
<Hallmark-ian sappy poetry>
With all my love, your sister (aunt)"
I immediately look up, stare Kim in the eye and ask...
"Are you dying?"
She laughs, and says no
"Am *I* dying"?
No again.
Turns out that although promised, the gifts she'd ordered hadn't arrived. Further, we found out about an hour later (via e-mail) that they were now refusing to deliver them at all since we were in Canada!!
About a month of fighting with Linen's N Things, and we eventually got our gifts - "Boom Chairs" (they hook into video game systems and provide an "interactive" experience) - only to find one didn't work, and the other was missing all the cords! More fighting, and eventually, we got them for FREE! They made lovely Valentine's day gifts....
Mark
Here's what I gave my Sis:
Pirate shaped Bandaids
A bobble-head Shakespeare
A Dashboard Buddha
A Last Supper Lunch pail
She gave me a gift card, a funny fridge magnet and a high five (actually-we just verballed the H5)
That's what I said about the panties.
xmas eve. We did what we do ever xmas eve since we have been together that is to have a few drinks watch all the xmas cartoons then go to bed. I was sneezing the who time. Woke up in the moring with a head cold that killed. By xmas night I was in bad shape. made it to Joes parents for dinner and brougth the goodies we made. blah cabbage rolls porgies and what not.
We got home, and I drugged myself up to go to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night coughing my head off. And let me tell you I thought I was sore before that man I am in pain from coughing my ribs feel like I have been hit by a mac truck my neck feels like someone is twisting it off. my nose hurts from the shittie clinx Joe got. And I need more drugs just to fall alseep...
So After sleeping all day boxing day I wake up at about 6pmish feeling pretty good now.. And Joe has to work today , So i say your going to bed I am gonna go the the casino at georgian downs and play slots.. whooohooot
Good thing I did that cause I ended up making my 20 bucks into 430bucks
So that made the xmas thing all good in my books....
now I just have to find a place to wear them.
You can always wear them to Merry Xmas Madness 4.