A good laugh
I found this posted on RPG and thought it was worth sharing
I especially like
Under the Gun-Where you may find yourself if you play a lot of crap in 1st
position, and constantly pull off miracle draws. This is especially true
when playing in backlot alleys or unfamiliar neighborhoods
This principle alone has gotten me to stop playing as much crap
chugs
GLOSSARY OF POKER TERMS
Ante-The sweet, innocent looking lady usually sitting to the immediate right
of the dealer.
Bad Beat-Any song that is emanating from Phil Hellmuth's walkman.
Bankroll-What I used to have before I started playing poker.
Big Slick-The guy to the left of the dealer with Shades, an Armani Suit,
slicked back hair, and a $10,000 watch.
Big Lick-Big Slick's "companion" for the evening.
The Blinds-Completely unnecessary in most casino poker rooms, since they
rarely have windows.
Bluff-Scenic view provided at the top of many mountain ranges in Nevada.
The Button-Stylish alternative to "the zipper."
Calling Station-Phone bank next to the Western Union Machine; used when you
have withdrawn all existing funds from your bank account.
Cap- If you try to steal the side pot, you may get one "popped" in yo' ass
Check-Nationality of poker pro Jari Szezchryczk.
Check-Raise- What happens to the bill when you order after-dinner drinks at
the casino restaurant.
Chip Leader-Chip Leader is a legend in the poker world, and perhaps the best
tournament player in the history of the game. From 1941-1957, Mr. Leader won
an amazing 86% of the tournaments in which he
participated. To this day, a person who is leading a tournament is often
referred to as the "Chip Leader" of the event.
Chips-Potato, corn, or even chocolate make fine meal replacements during
marathon sessions
Dealer-Guy responsible for bringing the side pot.
Draw-What Wild Bill Hickock was slow to do after playing A8.
Drawing Dead-See "under the Gun."
The Drop-Originally put in place on the West Coast after a Low Limit player
accidentally broke even.
Fish-Anyone who thinks Ax is a monster hand.
The Flop-The first three cards in Hold'Em. So named because the dealer
flops the cards on the table.
Flush-What you can do with your Ad Ah when the board comes Ac Kc 3c 10c Jc.
Fold-If you are a low limit player, you do not need to know this term,
because it never happens.
Full House-Crappy 80's sitcom toplined by Bob Sagat.
Hold'Em-Poker game named after Sir Edmund "Tex" Holdem, a card player who
died in the mid 1950's while driving to a poker tournament. After making a
wrong turn and ending up in the river, his lifeless body was discovered
flopped over the steering wheel. He was clutching 2 cards in his hand.
Maniac-Someone who quits their 6-figure+ job to play poker professionally
The Muck-Crap found stuck to the underside of a card table.
"Nice Pull"-Polite way to say, "F___ing lucky motherf___ing a__hole river
chaser."
The Nuts-General name for the group of people sitting at the 1-2, 1-3, or
2-4 Hold'Em tables.
Omaha-Crazy town in Nebraska where they play with nine cards and never fold.
On Tilt-Happens when you sit too far back in your chair.
Poker-What you do to wake up the lady sitting at the table who isn't paying
attention when it is her turn to bet.
Post-What you hit your head against after losing your bankroll playing at a
new limit.
Pot-What you smoke when you are rollin' down the street.
Pot limit-Depends on the player and quality of the pot
Pot Odds- Stems, seeds, roach clips, etc..
Rack-In poker as in life, the bigger the better.
Rags-Cards that comprise 99% of my hands.
Raise-What you do in a low limit game when you hold 2-5 OS and the flop
Comes A A K.
The Rake-Many people think that a rake is a tool designed to pick up leaves,
and in essence, they are correct. However, in poker-speak, "The rake" has
an entirely different meaning. Unfortunately, I have no idea what this
meaning is.
River-The river is where all the "fish" try to make their money. If you see
somebody raising on the river, then they are probably a "fish." This means
that you should always re-raise someone who makes a bet or raise on the
river.
Rounder-What your stomach gets when you get sit at a poker table and eat too
many chips
Royal Flush-What the other guy has after you go all-in with 4 of a kind.
Runner Runner-Occupations of Carl Lewis and Michael Johnson, respectively.
Sandbag-The 70+ year-old woman in a string bikini who laying out on the
beach.
Side Pot-What gets passed around between players not currently in a hand.
Suited-Fancy style of dress rarely found at a low-limit game.
Stud-The middle aged man surrounded by 2 gorgeous blondes, often found at
high- and no-limit tables.
Tip-One word: Plastics!
Trap-What the idiot next to you won't shut after his 2-3 os beats your AA at
the river
Trips-Short excursions made by tournament players and some railbirds.
The Turn-This comes after the flop and before the river. This is usually
where your nut hand is "turned" into garbage.
Under the Gun-Where you may find yourself if you play a lot of crap in 1st
position, and constantly pull off miracle draws. This is especially true
when playing in backlot alleys or unfamiliar neighborhoods
Wired- How you feel after your 15th cup of coffee and 36th straight hour
playing poker.
I especially like
Under the Gun-Where you may find yourself if you play a lot of crap in 1st
position, and constantly pull off miracle draws. This is especially true
when playing in backlot alleys or unfamiliar neighborhoods
This principle alone has gotten me to stop playing as much crap
chugs
GLOSSARY OF POKER TERMS
Ante-The sweet, innocent looking lady usually sitting to the immediate right
of the dealer.
Bad Beat-Any song that is emanating from Phil Hellmuth's walkman.
Bankroll-What I used to have before I started playing poker.
Big Slick-The guy to the left of the dealer with Shades, an Armani Suit,
slicked back hair, and a $10,000 watch.
Big Lick-Big Slick's "companion" for the evening.
The Blinds-Completely unnecessary in most casino poker rooms, since they
rarely have windows.
Bluff-Scenic view provided at the top of many mountain ranges in Nevada.
The Button-Stylish alternative to "the zipper."
Calling Station-Phone bank next to the Western Union Machine; used when you
have withdrawn all existing funds from your bank account.
Cap- If you try to steal the side pot, you may get one "popped" in yo' ass
Check-Nationality of poker pro Jari Szezchryczk.
Check-Raise- What happens to the bill when you order after-dinner drinks at
the casino restaurant.
Chip Leader-Chip Leader is a legend in the poker world, and perhaps the best
tournament player in the history of the game. From 1941-1957, Mr. Leader won
an amazing 86% of the tournaments in which he
participated. To this day, a person who is leading a tournament is often
referred to as the "Chip Leader" of the event.
Chips-Potato, corn, or even chocolate make fine meal replacements during
marathon sessions
Dealer-Guy responsible for bringing the side pot.
Draw-What Wild Bill Hickock was slow to do after playing A8.
Drawing Dead-See "under the Gun."
The Drop-Originally put in place on the West Coast after a Low Limit player
accidentally broke even.
Fish-Anyone who thinks Ax is a monster hand.
The Flop-The first three cards in Hold'Em. So named because the dealer
flops the cards on the table.
Flush-What you can do with your Ad Ah when the board comes Ac Kc 3c 10c Jc.
Fold-If you are a low limit player, you do not need to know this term,
because it never happens.
Full House-Crappy 80's sitcom toplined by Bob Sagat.
Hold'Em-Poker game named after Sir Edmund "Tex" Holdem, a card player who
died in the mid 1950's while driving to a poker tournament. After making a
wrong turn and ending up in the river, his lifeless body was discovered
flopped over the steering wheel. He was clutching 2 cards in his hand.
Maniac-Someone who quits their 6-figure+ job to play poker professionally
The Muck-Crap found stuck to the underside of a card table.
"Nice Pull"-Polite way to say, "F___ing lucky motherf___ing a__hole river
chaser."
The Nuts-General name for the group of people sitting at the 1-2, 1-3, or
2-4 Hold'Em tables.
Omaha-Crazy town in Nebraska where they play with nine cards and never fold.
On Tilt-Happens when you sit too far back in your chair.
Poker-What you do to wake up the lady sitting at the table who isn't paying
attention when it is her turn to bet.
Post-What you hit your head against after losing your bankroll playing at a
new limit.
Pot-What you smoke when you are rollin' down the street.
Pot limit-Depends on the player and quality of the pot
Pot Odds- Stems, seeds, roach clips, etc..
Rack-In poker as in life, the bigger the better.
Rags-Cards that comprise 99% of my hands.
Raise-What you do in a low limit game when you hold 2-5 OS and the flop
Comes A A K.
The Rake-Many people think that a rake is a tool designed to pick up leaves,
and in essence, they are correct. However, in poker-speak, "The rake" has
an entirely different meaning. Unfortunately, I have no idea what this
meaning is.
River-The river is where all the "fish" try to make their money. If you see
somebody raising on the river, then they are probably a "fish." This means
that you should always re-raise someone who makes a bet or raise on the
river.
Rounder-What your stomach gets when you get sit at a poker table and eat too
many chips
Royal Flush-What the other guy has after you go all-in with 4 of a kind.
Runner Runner-Occupations of Carl Lewis and Michael Johnson, respectively.
Sandbag-The 70+ year-old woman in a string bikini who laying out on the
beach.
Side Pot-What gets passed around between players not currently in a hand.
Suited-Fancy style of dress rarely found at a low-limit game.
Stud-The middle aged man surrounded by 2 gorgeous blondes, often found at
high- and no-limit tables.
Tip-One word: Plastics!
Trap-What the idiot next to you won't shut after his 2-3 os beats your AA at
the river
Trips-Short excursions made by tournament players and some railbirds.
The Turn-This comes after the flop and before the river. This is usually
where your nut hand is "turned" into garbage.
Under the Gun-Where you may find yourself if you play a lot of crap in 1st
position, and constantly pull off miracle draws. This is especially true
when playing in backlot alleys or unfamiliar neighborhoods
Wired- How you feel after your 15th cup of coffee and 36th straight hour
playing poker.
Comments
Didn't get through all of them yet, but so far my favourite is 'chip leader'...
Regards,
all_aces
I like "raise", and "nice pull", but most of them are good.
LOL! I like this one.