Anger Management - What tricks do you have to suppress rage?
Lately I have been getting over the top angry at people. I have seen how some of you blow up or spin at the tables and was wondering what you do to suppress your anger. I never saw myself as an angry person before but just recently I have been losing it on people who tick me off.
How do you channel your anger?
How do you channel your anger?
Comments
In life...like I used to drink alot, quit 10 weeks ago...not a drop since. And I find that when people wrong me or just do/say general stupid shit it just makes me so mad. I always used to be laid back and it took a lot to get me going. But now it seems one comment can make me lose it on someone.
I guess I am just looking for ways people deal with it, tactics, tricks, methods...whatever. I sleep a decent amount, do like a lazy 30 mins of cardio a day and don't drink.
I have a theory that it could be because all the of bored (pun) dickheads on this forum who think they know me and judge me so openly in public after meeting me 3 times. All of their stupid and ignorant comments piled on top of me not having my favourite vice; alcohol..may have led to me having a short fuse these past months.
But that's just blaming others for my issues I guess.
i dunno cause i NEVER get angry. hard to get angry if you don't care. i embrace apathy. maybe you should eat more meat.
seriously i don't know. suggestions i've seen are things like counting to 10, taking a few deep breaths, going for a walk, primal screaming, getting therapy.
best of luck with this but i wouldn't take any advice i get from here seriously
I agree. This doesn't sound like something "tips'n'tricks" from the forum can help. You should probably chat with somebody close to you who you respect and see what they think (just don't get angry at them if they tell you something you don't like
I do want to hear some of the tips and tricks though if anyone has one of any use. I've heard the counting to ten, squeezing an ice cube etc...
But I guess I was/am hoping someone would have this magic solution that they learned help so I could try it.
Thanks for the pm trevor, I'll respond in a second.
Something is causing your anger. It could be anything from sadness, loneliness, fatigue, hunger, frustration, etc.
Identify the primary / eliminate the secondary. You've mentioned in a not so subtle way that you've quit drinking, perhaps you're experiencing some withdrawl from it. It is a lifestyle change, and people are creatures of habit, so you may feel uneasy.
Remember, everyone does and should get angry - the trick is to use it as a tool, rather than a weapon / excuse / etc. Allow it to push you to motivation. Angry about injustice? Work to correct it. Anger stemming from disappointment in yourself? Improve yourself.
Some other angry folks:
Martin Luther King Jr.
Gandhi
Nelson Mandela
Rosa Parks
etc. etc...
But he also used the anger for tremendous social change in Germany, economically he was a boon.....
Morally, not so much. Imagine if he had had a moral code not dissimilar to say Gandhi, or MLKJr... he would have been a great force for good.
Unfortunately, it is often easier to use anger destructively rather than constructively - but such is maturity.
Mark
If the primary CAUSE of anger in your life is people on the forum - then I think the REMEDY is easily identifiable.
I would just leave.
Of course, I would miss your comments and am really curious about the one you had banned
First off, getting angry or upset is NOT a bad thing. It's how you deal with it.
Coping is the key.
Anyone who knows me, is aware of how I sometimes (yes, sometimes) give in to feelings and have an outburst. I act like an idiot, make a scene, and storm out. Usually it's beacause of a bad beat, and I take it personally. Like the deck has a mind of it's own and says "Lets f--- Johnnie over! It'll be fun." My rage is a reaction to the fact that I felt cheated or wronged.
I've had many issues in dealing with my emotional outbusts in my life. I used to tell myself that's it's just a "temper" and that I'm just an emotional guy. However, I've lost friends because of my anger. A whole bunch, some whom I was very close too. I miss them dearly.
I lost a job because of it. Ok, it's was a shitty P/T job, but I was still canned. A job!!!
Now, I like to think that I have some intelligence, and being a 30 year old with a rage issue is not cool. Especailly when it's time to start a family. So since August of this year, I've been in counsoulling. I still have "bad" days, but I don't think I've really gone over the edge in awhile.
Making the first call was one of the hardest things I've ever done. I've always avoided the conselling option, because I thought I'd be a lesser person or something. Or that people thought I was "crazy".
That stigma is wrong. Josh, there are options open to you. Talk to someone, anyone. Find an anger mangement group, or get private counselling.
I'm proud of you for opening up this topic, letting me speak my mind, and for reaching out for help. I wish I was smart enough to do that when I was 21. It would have saved me a lot of grief and regret over the years.
TO ALL THIS FORUM. THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU AND BEING IN MY LIFE. YOU ALL ARE GREAT. IF I HAVE A LAPSE IN JUDGEMENT, PLEASE CALL ME ON. I REALLY NEED YOUR SUPPORT.
Johnnie
And p.s. Josh.. Never let your anger show.. That's just showing the other person that they got to you.. Be strong and be successfull... Follow your dreams and show everyone, but don't tell people about your success, show them! Much more effective.
Jeesh... I sound like a shrink... Anyone know a good one I can visit... OK, lets get back to poker.....
My eyes are still sore.
Johnnie
When it comes to life I have controlled my anger for a long time. The first thing was to address what really caused my rage. It had to do with other things and I would use a simple incident to express myself in a very poor way. I have since thought about my actions before I do anything. I feel this is really important when it comes to my children, I never want them to see my anger and I haven't done it yet. There are still times when I get way to upset and do stupid things. I don't have a six iron anymore.
It is not something that has an easy solution or one that will be a quick fix. It will take years.
Josh, for you I would not respond to things that upset me on the forum. Second counselling may be a good idea, I didn't do it myself but it is a great way. Lastly take a moment to think about why you're angry and try to look at it from another perspective. It will be hard, very hard but if you want to change you MUST try.
I used to be a bit of a hot head, but I got dealt some shitty life cards that helped put my life into perspective.....I guess you could say I learned things the hard way all the time, but not so anymore. I tend to keep one expression in the back of mind at all times when I feel I'm about to blow a gasket
" No matter how bad I've got it right now, someone somewhere else has it far worse than I do, so focus on my good things "
Just my little bit of tranquility in an otherwise storm of reality I live in from day to day.
May help, may not, just thought I'd chime in on it..
Jamie
I knew I was Toast.
The flop was A5x, and I started to chant for the four. The turn was another brick, so I begin to scream "FOUR FOUR COMIN FOUR!!"
Yep, he rivered it.
You had the chance to kick him in the pills when he busted your JJ, you know.
Damn Gus Hansens...