DrTyore
Well we all made it! Here is my trip report, I will leave Zithal to his particulars but cover the group / non forum shenanigans as much as I can recall. First, a breakdown for the TLDR crowd:
Arrests: 0, witnessed: 1
Marriage proposals: 1
Anonymous partially nude girls brought to room in drunken stupor : 1
Party members lost only to have to cab back from another casino : 1
Oddest type of person encountered: Buddhist monks watching a hot pants and push up bra pirate show
Party members up overall: 4/6
Alcohol consumed: don't judge our lifestyle
Pre-game show, Thursday August 29:
Zithal is driving, collects myself, and fellow degens Dustin and Larry before travelling to Windsor to crash at brother Greg's house. Greg has a pinball table so we drink and make prop bets on our skillz. Sleep comes around midnight for our eight a.m. wake up.
Prop bets at the airport about who gets the worst seat on the plane, first luggage retrieved etc. couple early morning airport drinks and we are in the air. First run good for me happens - the "full flight" has one missing passenger and he was next to me. Ahh comfort.
Game on: Friday August 30, 1pm Vegas time:
Degenerate efficiency mode engages as half the crew go to register at the hotel while the other half takes drink orders to purchase off site (cheaper). I was in the latter of these groups with Dustin and Jay (another degen who joined us at the airport from Boston - friend of Zithal). We buy drinks, mix, chips, bread and peanut butter in case we don't want to eat out every meal (-$172, 2x60oz spiced rum, 26er tequila, 60oz whiskey, various beers). Back to the cab who regales us with tales of Ron Jeremy being a passenger and a "girl getting nailed by two guys back there". My seat selection rungood holds as I was in the front. We arrive at treasure island and go to our adjoining twin queens upgraded room (score Zithal!).
Drinks are had, excitement abound and our first stop is a roulette table where Larry has informed us that he plans to take his $400 and put it on red. We fire over to Venetian and collectively hold our breath. Larry sweats.... Bounce bounce bounce............... 23 RED!!!!! High fives and man love abound, we're off to Ellis island for the chicken and ribs deal ($12 for more food in an hour than I had in the remainder of the trip). Before seating we play some blackjack and the dealer can not withstand our manly rungood. Zithal has his hair looking dapper, Larry is flush with victory, Dustin calculating with a fierce determination to beat Vegas down, and Greg and myself at that point on a bender when our energy and charm is peaking. Dealer loses easily 4/5 hands and all who played are up about 20-30 bucks.
Dinner was awesome, really good to get if you can get there (more on that later). But now it's about 7pm and its back to TI for the pokers. They run a $55 tourney three times nightly and it's structure would make Blondefish lecture us about take %, patience factor, and why we should be at Woodbine. Now out of our crew Zithal and I are the only poker players of any regularity. Everyone played however, and two of us made it heads up!! I don't really remember any exciting hands here as it became more a steal blinds tourney, but Greg and myself luck into heads up. We can only assume because of the sheer quantity of alcohol consumed. We chop the tourney to end it and both take home $565! Pretty solid start, especially when Zithal had gone to the cash game, but that's his story. The other degens were around the casino gambling and drinking, and Dustin came told me about "Senor Frogs", the in-house nightclub. We head there, and I buy a round for myself Dustin Greg and Larry - $51!!! 100 feet away free, here equal to tourney buyin. Oh well. The club\s actually cool and there are TONNES of people around for the long weekend. We're all on a high and out of nowhere (as far as i knew that is) Dustin displays his mastery of the dance floor. People are turning and watching him. Awesome and we meet "French Canada" - cute blonde down with her mom, and party with them a bit.
Sadly even in Vegas the crowd must thin out and we are leaving señor frogs about 3:30-4:00 (best estimate) for our hotel room. Of course this means waking whoever tried to sleep with excitement and elbow drops. But energy slowly fades and sleep overtakes.......
Well, 5 of us at least….
After a quick, floor-based face down power nap of about 4 mins I decide poker is good to me tonight and the Venetian runs Omaha! Off I go! Sadly it's one table running of NLHE. Head back to TI and decide to play the 1-3 there. The female dealer Jess from the earlier tourney is working, and is fun to banter with. She is the new love of my life when she continues to trash talk me after I tip her $10 for a big pot. Not a huge run but I am up about three hundred ($500 buyin) when I run my flush into higher flush dropping profit to about $120 or so. I realize it’s 7am and head back upstairs to sleep.
Well.. .that’s what I had thought at least… do note that I had been up since 8:00 previous day
Seems they must pump caffeine into the rooms every morning at 7am here. Everyone is awake when I get there and are heading to the pool! Off we go! While there we meet Barb. Barb is the new love of my life. She’s a waitress working poolside, and has a bikini as a uniform. She was very talented. Since we’re all still on giddy vegas winning rungood, we think that drinks poolside is a good idea. They come in these souvenir plastic crappy glasses with a straw, and you can drink and swim. They are $18 a pop. We basically bought enough of those that they gave us a cabana without charge to eat breakfast in. This was the $350 brekkie, just drinks and food, we all found it pretty fucking funny in that “god dammit we’re fucking idiots” kinda way.
Anyways, pools are fun, scenery is good, but the Wynn has a $225 10k guarantee that Zithal wants to play. I’m up, so I’m in, and so does degen Larry. Now I was up at the room changing, and Rob headed over, Larry finds me, and to make it on time, we have to run. In Las Vegas heat, in August, we are running around the strip. Larry doesn’t seem to believe me when I tell him about “late registration”. Anyways, arrive just in time and sign in, there’s a $100 add-on for chips, so I plop that down too. I never get anything going in this tournament. I have AK early and lose to a Q-T come-along, and just slow decline. I’m enjoying myself though, the massage girl looks like Eliza Dushku and I gladly pay her to touch me repeatedly (note, this is the casino in-house girl, not the ones on the cards outside). There’s a player at our table who is just stunningly bad, a guy to my left who is swearing EVERY hand he doesn’t like, and the dude on my right who orders a burger and sends it back three separate times because they got it wrong (I ordered a cheeseburger and there isn’t any cheese / I think she just added cheese and didn’t melt it on there / I asked for medium rare, and this is clearly now well done). Bit of a dick, but hey, I’m not the cook. Anyways old swearing guy and burger boy are making fun of the terribly bad player’s play amongst ourselves (called a 3-bet for 10xBB with Q4o). Fate comes to slap us around a bit however, as burger boy looks plast my shoulder and moans “Oh god, and she plays poker too”. A stunning brunette is talking to the cashier, and enters the poker room. She proceeds to walk directly to the terribad player, hug and kiss him and start talking. All three of us say something to the effect of “Oh come on, this is bullshit”.
I’m stunned at some of the play that Zithal is also reporting, we agree the field seemed tougher in the previous night’s tournament. This of course means none of us make it much past break, and Larry disappeared back to the hotel while Rob and I were cashing out his cash game money he played. As Rob and I make our way back, our mood is still great, drinks haven’t quite stopped, and as we enter our elevator area (side note: We had to have a key to even access the floor we were on), this girl at the end of the hall is sitting on the bench. We jovially say hey, what’s up kinda stuff, and it quickly devolves into our mentioning it’s Zithal’s stag, and she pokes fun at us for it. Essentially as we’re waiting on the elevator, we shit talk one another, and then she agrees to come up to the room for drinks. I tell her the one condition is that I never know what her name is. She finds out we’re from Ontario, and she tells us she is too - Ontario California. We christen her “Ontario” as we enter the room everyone is there and we all drink and make fun of one another. At one point, I challenge Ontario to a mental game I never lose, and VERY CLEARLY spell out the rules, she blows the game early, and I win. The penalty was to run down the hallways naked. She says that I have to too, and I most certainly do not. She manages to turn it around on me, and goes to the hall, dropping her pants, timed perfectly as our neighbour comes from his room and basically sees this girl “presenting”. We continue drinks and mocking, but then some of the degens want to go back to chicken and ribs place, leaving me and the Zithal brothers. Rob has had a lot of beer, and there may be a story of his downfall…. Greg, Ontario and I have a few more drinks, but I decide I need to try that Omaha again, so off to Venetian again about 90 minutes after the others left.
It’s likely 8:30-9:00 now, and I figure the room should be busy. As I enter Venetian, the other degens are coming up the escalator. They spent the entire time looking for Ellis Island, and could not figure out how to get there, so grabbed food elsewhere and were heading back to the room for drinks…. this seems to be a good idea to me at the time (umm, notice it’s been 36 hours without significant sleep?) and I turn around. As we go, Ontario walks past high fives us, and we never see her again. She did however leave beads, glasses, and two packs of smokes in the room…
Speaking of the room, Zithal’s unconscious, and Greg’s napping (IIRC). We have drinks and Greg wakes. The guys want to play the tourney again tonight, and I go along, but Zithal cannot muster himself. We register and play again, but with less luck this time, only one of the crew make the money with myself getting 5th place for $140…. which seems like just a good enough reason to go play some blackjack outside of “Gilley’s”, which is a western-themed in house club with some tables out front. Now at these tables, there are pretty girls in assless chaps and a bikini, and sometimes a cowboy hat (a weakness of mine.. makes women 25% hotter - I did the math). I feared my seat-selecting run good had worn off as we sit in front of a little cutie, and immediately she goes on break and is replaced by “Eric”. As you can imagine, this is a downgrade… Or is it! Eric’s as bad as John from the Chicken and Rib place, and I win about $45 at this table before someone suggests back to Senor Frogs! Dustin still kills the dance floor, but we’re smart enough not to buy drinks here. I go out and “play slots” until I get a couple drinks from the same waitress from the poker room (I’ve been liberally tipping, so she’s memorized my drink and is quick). Senor frogs is a good time, and we head back upstairs late into the evening. One of our crew stayed later than the others, and apparently upon returning to the room, a bachelorette party from across the hall said hi, and drinks were had there too. I finally lay down to sleep at 3:30am on Saturday night since being up Friday morning (46 hours including the time change). I wake up, on my own, without alarm or asshole at 7:30am. Are you fucking kidding me…. Can’t go back to sleep, so downstairs to breakfast.
End of Part 1 because I am tired. I may also have to consult others for reconstruction of the events - for accuracy’s sake. It is safe to say at this point, there is likely only one person in the group who is “down”, but it’s not much. Tune in next time for tales of bad crap lessons, why Vegas smells like sewage, creepy swimmers, Buddhist monks, planning decisions, and my marriage proposal.
Mark