djalikool
My goal and dreams was to be on TV at the WSOP, Ivey, Daniel, and the all the legends of poker at my table. I let this dream take over my life. My world was all about poker. From my everyday experiences right down to the lingo. I let this dream blind sight me from the reality of life. It is a game of luck, and somewhat skill. I started off playing home games, saw myself getting to the final table on many occasions. With my largest buy-in at $40 dollars. Then came multitable tourney's small buy-in but larger reward. I played 4 of those no where near the money, nor final 30 players. With my largest buy in being $80. Then came the casino branford. Started off as a 2-5 player, then moved way up to the 5-10 eventually hitting the 10-20 each time I moved up, t'was not because I was making a profit. I was chasing my loses back. $17,000 Dollars later (dating back 2 years ago to the present time) I found myself admiting to a problem. Having gone to a univeristy city, all my friends were poker players. Everyday poker was around me, friends loaning me money so we could all go to brantford for the night, got introduced to online poker for the first time...and then it happened.
My addiction wasn't noticable to me at first, my friends, girlfriends, and family finally figured something was wrong. Grades were dropping, Maxing out my Credit Cards, Sleeping in all day, losing sight of reality, losing friends, feeling depressed. All because of a dream to become the next poker legend.
I found Online poker harder then the Casino, it's hard to laydown AA, AK, or KK because when you are dealt those hands, you figure "oh, finally i'm gonna win this hand lets see how much I can squeeze out of thise other players" but then you run into a flop which makes chasers hit there flush or at best a straight.
I then thought of playing No Limit because it would get rid of the chasing, bad idea...you need at least 2 pair or a set to call the river.
Long story short, I became addicted to gambling. I was enrolled in Gambler's Annoymous by my friends who were concerned with me. To this day, I regret even picking up cards and saying the words "ALL IN"...because technically it foreshadowed my life.
Now, I watch from the sidelines and repaying my debts...just 3,000 more and i'm out of the red.
Just wanted to share this with anyone taking up the game who all had or have the same dream about going Pro.
Meistro
djailkool, congradulations on your struggle to overcome addiction.
djalikool
Thank you, it was tough to admit it....but i'm glad i'm young and can learn from this. I know there are probably lots of people out there like me, deeper in debt. Hopefully they too will realize they have a problem, before its too late.
westside8
Congrats djalikool for your willingness to share your personal story with us. I am glad to hear you are overcoming your addiction and will be picking yourself out of debt very shortly. I think its these stories that should be shared with the many players who think it is easy to make a living off playing poker. While there are many success stories, the number of failures probably out-number the success stories.
djalikool
Your right, everyone hears about the success stories, no one really ever hears about the ones that have failed.
compuease
A very thoughtfull and chilling reality post Ali.... I wondered how you were making out, now I understand. Glad you came to the realization before it was too late. I know there are many more young guys who have fallen into the same trap. Even if your post only helps one it is very valuable. Good luck... Jeff.
djalikool
Thanks Jeff, it has been a tough road to recovery for me. But the only way to make money is the good ol' fashion way. By working hard!
[deleted]
This forum was in need of a reality check. It's not all sunshine and moonbeams for people with this game.... Thanks very much for being so candid.
AcidJoe
A very well thought out post. There are lots of people who dream of the easy life playing poker, horses etc. In general I believe only 5% who play any beatable game are winners in the long run. The other 95% if they can afford to play that's great. As one who has gambled for a living, I know this easy life takes far more work than any job I've ever held. You "Work" when your friends are in the bar, sleep at odd hours and have very little social life.
I am glad for groups like GA, AA and others who held people overcome their addicitions. The toughest part is to wake up, look in that mirror and say "It's me". Congrats on making that call. Good luck it will always be hard.
pkrfce9
This is a worthwhile thread. Hopefully it can help others.
Best of luck to you.
GTA Poker
Nice post.
It's amazing to me the number of players who have dream of going pro before ever beating this game at any level.
I play at one underground where there are only 3 winning players out of a regular pool of 50 or so.
Glad to hear things are going better for you now.
mike27river
Great Post
there are alot of people who can learn from this post.
Stop and think
If I stopped playing poker right now, how much would it effect my life?
Good for you Ali
stpboy
I'm glad things are getting back on track for you Ali. I remember when I first met you in Guelph, you seemed amazed with the game and really wanted to soak everything in. I've known people that I would consider to be, or have been in, the same situation as you. It takes a lot of courage to admit it and lay yourself out there so that others can learn from it. It sounds like you've got some great supports in your life, keep them close. Thanks for the thread.
stp
djalikool
Thank you everyone for the positive support. I'm hoping this thread will open up people's eyes and see the true reality of gambling, and all its effects.
Yorkpoker
This is in no means anything but my curiousity. I mean no disrespect at all.
If you're enrolled in GA, why would you join a poker forum?
I am not a member of any support groups as I have been able to avoid letting addiction get ahold of me (to date). I don't really know the rules or guidelines of the recovery process. I would imagine though, that if one was an alcoholic, one might not choose to belong to a scotch tasting club.
I can understand maintaining an intertest in poker, as it is a truly involving game. I just wonder what you gain by participating in a forum focused entirely on a hobby/game that you have given up (hopefully for good and to your benefit).
If this is a sensitive thing for you, djalikool, you need not answer. I am only curious, as I stated above.
And for the record, I am familiar with the path you walked. I managed to win my way out of my hole and then decided I was far too involved in the game. I was playing 80-100 hours a week (besides high school and university, which I skipped more than occasionally). I chose to walk away from the game for a number of years once I felt a little close to the line. I play sparingly and only recreationally now.
[deleted]
Yorkpoker wrote
I would imagine though, that if one was an alcoholic, one might not choose to belong to a scotch tasting club.Â
I know that this is a very serious subject, and like GTA I mean no disrespect to the OP, but when I read that line I was swallowing a mouthful of coffee that I just had to wipe off my shirt.
AcidJoe
for those of you who are considering going pro, read Barry Greensteins book Ace on the river. His first 10 chapters or so are real eye openers. His forward apologizes to his kids because he couldn't be the dad he wanted to be. He basically says all sucessful gamblers are compusive and are one drink away from AA, GA or some other support group. Having gambled for a living I understand where he is coming from. After reading his book I know I have to control the psycological part of my game more.Â
Yorkpoker
all_aces wrote
I know that this is a very serious subject, and like GTA I mean no disrespect to the OP, but when I read that line I was swallowing a mouthful of coffee that I just had to wipe off my shirt.
Send me the dry cleaning bill. Sorry.
But I just wanted to know what the appeal is in belonging to a group whose main focus is something you have given up for the rest of your life.
stpboy
Ali was a member here during the times that he was addicted to the game and now, after reading his post, it seems as though he has come to realize he was addicted and wanted to share it with our group. I guess it would be more like him going back to 'the ol' watering hole' and letting everyone know that he's back on the wagon (ie quit drinking).
stp
p.s. I've never understood that saying, "fell off the wagon"..
stp
pkrfce9
stpboy wrote
p.s. I've never understood that saying, "fell off the wagon"..
There's this new thing, called the internet:
http://www.joe-ks.com/phrases/phrasesO.htm
The origin of this seemingly mysterious phrase becomes clear when one learns that the original phrase was "On the water wagon". A water wagon was a common piece of equipment in the days before paved roads. They were used to spray the dirt roads to help control dust.
More exhaustively...
The Mavens' Word of the Day (15 Dec 2000) says:
The origin of *on the wagon* becomes clearer in its early forms: *on the
water wagon* and *on the water cart*. Horse-drawn water carts did not, as
one might think, distribute drinking water, but were used during the late
19th century, especially during hot, dry summers, to wet down dusty roads.
This was a period of active crusading, with women -- and a few men --
campaigning fervently for Prohibition on a national scale. Members of such
organizations as the Woman's Christian Temperance Union (founded in 1874)
and the Anti-Saloon League (formed in 1893) were trying desperately to close
down breweries and saloons, which had proliferated extensively. They hoped
to eliminate or reduce domestic abuse by encouraging sobriety in husbands
and fathers.
During this period, many of the men who pledged to stop drinking couched
their vows in terms that said that no matter how much they longed for a
strong drink, they would climb aboard a water cart to quench their thirst
rather than break their vow. *I'm on the water cart* came to mean "No, thank
you; I'm not drinking any more" or "I'm trying to stop." As the metaphor
became more popular, *wagon* overtook *cart* in the American idiom; *cart*
is still in use in England. The notion that you could easily *fall off the
wagon* was apparently recognized early on. And of course drinking is no
longer considered an exclusively male problem.
_The Encyclopedia of Word and Phrase Origins_ (Hendrickson, 1997) claims
that the earliest literary citation for "I'm on the water cart" occurs in
"of all places, _Alice Caldwell Rice's Mrs. Wiggs of the Cabbage Patch_
(1901), where the consumptive Mr. Dick says it to old Mrs. Wiggs." This
antedates the OED's earliest attestation, a 1904 definition from _American
Dialect Notes_ indicating that the phrase means 'to abstain from hard
drinks'.