Lets Talk . . .

Milo

Bell Lets Talk Day is coming up. some of you may know that I am a parent of an adult daughter. Several weeks ago she came to us and said she was going to our Family doctor and looking for a referral to speak to someone about her mental state. She is in the early stages of assessment, but the feeling is tending towards some form of Depression and possibly an anxiety disorder, as well.
As a parent this is all pretty much a kick in the teeth. You have so many things going through your mind all at once . . . recriminations, doubt, fear . . . but the long and short of it is that it ALL speaks to the pernicious nature of mental illness. I do not know why my daughter has been so afflicted, and it is only now that certain things in the recent past take on a more significant light than they seemed to when they were occurring. Things truly are not always what they seem.
So talk to your kids, talk to your friends, just talk . . . let them know that it is okay. Let them know that the darkness may crowd in from time to time, but that you will be there to shine a light, and to help walk them through. Tell them that . . .
Talk.

trigs

i barely talk to anyone mostly because no one gives a shit. i can't talk to my parents. they literally do not know anything about me and have never cared to learn. all they want is for us to have pointless small talk conversations during our monthly dinners and then they are happy. i don't think they have ever asked me how i'm doing or how i feel.

i used to be very depressed when i was younger and contemplated suicide often. i'm "better" now i guess but i wouldn't classify myself as "happy" per se. things got worse last week when i found that my closest work friend that i talk to daily is being forced to move to another location. it's really going to suck going to work now even more than normal.

i can kind of talk to my girlfriend but not always. she prefers to sit in a room together with the tv on and ignore each other because she's too tired from work to do anything else. i shouldn't be too harsh on her though as she has been trying to talk more lately after i have confronted her about her reluctance to do so.

it's actually pretty ironic as i've always been told that i'm a great listener and giver of advice in the past from my friends, but none care enough to return the favour.

so, i guess i'm saying i agree with milo (ack!) and go talk to your friends and family. actually listen to them and make them realize that you do really care about them and want to know how they feel and what's important to them. even a tiny bit of listening does wonders.

pkrfce9

First of all FK U TRIGS for making me feel sad for you. I think people take this more seriously now. If you speak up, people will listen. They may have to be educated on how to talk about it. Send them a link or something. There are resources out there.

Toronto Pimp

FU trigs

Milo..... I have a younger female cousin that was diagnosed with both anxiety and mild depression. From my limited perspective i saw a young girl that seemed very happy on the outside and someone that wanted for nothing in life.

At the point where she was "medicated" she turned into a zombie. It seemed like the medication did more harm than good. Her parents took her off the meds after about a year and got her into therapy just talking with a doctor a couple times a week. She is much better now and the way she describes how the meds made her feel she say " they made me feel dead inside "

i know you will do anything in your powers to help your child, but be weary if the doctor pushes the meds before trying therapy.

Take care.

trigs

pkrfce9;397219 wroteFirst of all FK U TRIGS for making me feel sad for you. I think people take this more seriously now. If you speak up, people will listen. They may have to be educated on how to talk about it. Send them a link or something. There are resources out there.

Wow! Looks like someone was in a good mood today lol. Cheers.

Milo

Yeah . . . she is currently taking a drug called Welbutrin, which seems to be helping. Her first visit with a Psychologist was Friday and he wants to put her on something called Abilify. Reading up on this drug raises concerns for me, as it is a pretty powerful brain chemistry drug, used primarily for Schizophrenia and Manic Depression. While I have seen evidence of depression, I have not noticed any "manic" behaviour in my daughter. This is raising a flag for me and the Missus. that said, she is an adult, so it is not our call, something I find equally frustrating, as I DO fear the "zombification" aspect of medication that Toronto Pimp mentioned. Such a mine field to be walking through . . .

Bfillmaff

Yep, hate the idea of those kind of drugs. Tough spot Milo, wish you guys all the best.

sn1perb0y

Imho and very little experience, medication for "mental illnesses" require a lot of trial and error because there are a lot of different yet similar drugs-what i mean- that work differently in mechanism yet produce a similar outcome (ex: produce dopamine, serotonin or inhibit uptake). I also know that best results come from a combination of therapy and medication at the same time. There is also a recent method (can't remember it's name) where the mission is to make that person adapt and find ways to suppress the mental illness rather than treat it which is also effective.

Usually depression occurs for no reason but sometimes it follows a certain event. Was there an event that happend that might have triggered it?
Also, is there anyone in the family/relatives that have or had depression?

I hope everything goes well for your daughter.

Milo

No one diagnosed, but I have long suspected that I might have some form of OCD (I test very high for it on the usual metrics). No real single event in her life that might have acted as a trigger . . . at least nothing comes to mind. She was always given the "standard" parental pressure about doing well in school, that sort of thing. Was actually extremely impressed that she had a career goal in mind fresh out of high school.

We're just taking this one step at a time as parents . . . hoping for good outcomes, both medically and with her schooling. So far, so ~good~ . . .

Toronto Pimp

Your doing all the right things ! Just keep the dialogue open with her and really listen to everything she says.

Hope it all works out.

BlondeFish

Let's Talk Day is today, January 27. The last time I felt depressed was when I grinded online the most. I agree with ex Supernova Elite, Dusty "Leatherass" Schmidt and the Amen Clinic, that mass grinding online poker for years can damage your brain, including increasing the chances of depression or anxiety. I was making more money than when I was working for IBM, but I felt depressed for no conscious reason. I would be driving or doing everyday activities but felt depressed like a zombie inside.

Just like the depression seemed to come unexpectedly, as I grinded less online, it eventually went away. Nowadays, I love playing live poker, including trying to have fun with fellow human beings in the casino.

Milo;397200 wroteBell Lets Talk Day is coming up.